Blonde joke
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Blonde joke
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says. "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.” Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished” The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.” Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster. He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he said with a deep sigh....."Let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box."
Joined: Jan 2006
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RE: Blonde joke
i got you one Don,
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 32
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From:
RE: Blonde joke
so theres a bikini model team on one of those british double decker busses...the brunettes cant stand the blondes cuz their pretty much retarded so , the brunettes fill all the seats on the bottom of the bus and leave the top part for the dumbass blondes...so about half way through their trip the brunettes are like"what the hell is going on up there... usually they are so loud and obnoxious, but its been dead silent this whole time..." so they go upstairs and open the door to the cabin... all of the blondes are holding on to their seats for dear life, gripped with fear, silent...one of the brunettes is like" what the hell is wrong with you guys?" then one blonde girl says" well sure you guys are o.k ....you all have someone driving your bus." .......................sorry I took that last two minutes of your life with that retarded joke...heres another.... how do you kill a blonde?... scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool....hardee har har.
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 141
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RE: Blonde joke
i got another one, let's hear some funny ones from everybody else
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the 'no haggle' attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, 'Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!'
The shopkeeper said, 'By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!'
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement.
Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, 'Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!'
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the 'no haggle' attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, 'Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!'
The shopkeeper said, 'By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!'
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement.
Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, 'Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!'
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 132
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From:
RE: Blonde joke
hi all
got a couple here,
A car was swerving up and down the street until it finally
went past a police car, the police pull over the car
and a blonde winds down the window and says " im so glad your here officer,
i saw a tree in the road and then another one and i had to swerve to keep from
hitting them" the officer looks at the blonde and says" ma' am thats your air freshner! "
a blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said
"Disneyland left" after thinking on it she said " oh well never mind " and turned around
to drive home, on her way home she passed another sign that said" clean rest rooms 8 miles"
by the time she had gone the 8 miles she had cleaned 26 rest rooms!
The government has decided to recall all vehicles with a headlight dimmer switch
on the turnsignal lever the purpose of this is said to cut 90% of night time accidents
apparently 90%of night time accidents were occuring because blondes kept getting their
feet stuck in the steering wheel!
got a couple here,
A car was swerving up and down the street until it finally
went past a police car, the police pull over the car
and a blonde winds down the window and says " im so glad your here officer,
i saw a tree in the road and then another one and i had to swerve to keep from
hitting them" the officer looks at the blonde and says" ma' am thats your air freshner! "
a blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said
"Disneyland left" after thinking on it she said " oh well never mind " and turned around
to drive home, on her way home she passed another sign that said" clean rest rooms 8 miles"
by the time she had gone the 8 miles she had cleaned 26 rest rooms!
The government has decided to recall all vehicles with a headlight dimmer switch
on the turnsignal lever the purpose of this is said to cut 90% of night time accidents
apparently 90%of night time accidents were occuring because blondes kept getting their
feet stuck in the steering wheel!