I found this on another site and thought it should be shared!

'LordFlathead' writes:



I'm proper in the dog house..

The whole fridge freezer thing did not bode well. I DID buy her a nice Miele fridge freezer but I got the bloody dimensions wrong and now its been delivered it won't fit in the bloody kitchen, it's too tall It's now residing in the conservatory instead and that aint ideal apparently as the book says "Do not put it in a conservatory" and she actually read the book So after she went bang <7/10 on the mental scale> I made my excuses and just popped out 'for a pint of milk..'

Sun was shining and oh what a beautiful day.. no way was I staying inside doing 'stuff' I needed to be out in the sun going nowhere as fast as possible. And so it started to unfold. Work has royally pissed me off and I was told to "have two days off while we consider your options" as I have a meeting with HR on Monday regarding my recent sickness.. oh well a couple more days can't hurt can it

Going for the milk, I sailed past the shops and feeling hot under the collar, thought a speedy blat on the M4 might help me cool off and use up some of that angry adrenalin. I spent yesterday morning wiring up my Garmin Zumo so I had a proper GPS on the bike as my ability to circumnavigate anywhere is crap to say the least.. Stunning piece of kit the Zumo is, even though it's really just a £100 car GPS in a waterproof frock. It actually saved my life as I became a despatch rider 4 years ago to keep paying the bills when my own business failed. I must have been the only despatch rider that did not know one end of London from the other.. this piece of kit actually works. Pint of milk or not the Garmin was on (purely to see if it worked ok of course) and after getting on the M4 and meeting a wall of traffic I quickly decided that the M25 would be a better option. Several junctions later and I find myself at the A3 and turning right towards Guildford.. blimey this reminds me of the mad runs I used to do to escape to Hayling Island. Actually it's really only 45 minutes away, can't hurt can it?

Before I knew it I was there and what a great ride the A3 has become!

Followed the road over the bridge onto the island and as I passed the first garage on the lhs, noticed an ever growing queue of morons waiting to fill their tank before the world ended Riding past the old Butlins site I passed the Oven camp site known of old, and a BP garage on the right which was closed with, "No fuel" and eventually hit the main sea front road about ten minutes after.. what is up with these people? Hooking a left and running parallel to the beach, you end up turning left where there is another garage, but this time the queue was right around the corner, and the price of fuel was higher than the last place.. idiots indeed! I rode to Sandy Point and noticed that the last time I was there (15years ago!) the Amusements arcades had long since gone and now replaced by a new housing estate Nothing to see, I back-tracked and half away along the sea front I found a decent burger van and enjoyed a 'sausage sandwich on brown' whilst drinking coffee and chatting to a friendly local couple.. the sun was shining and this was a great start.. I think the initial journey took me around an hour



Enjoying the coast and seeing the sea, I decided to follow the coast. Looking at the coastline on Google maps, I noticed that mum and dad were not that far away in Worthing.. that would make a nice surprise. With directions from a local I soon found myself in Selsea. Forgotten what rural roads were like, I was getting brave on the new rubber whilst still concious of the 'chicken strips' and thought it a good idea to remove them

Before I knew it I was through Bognor Regis, flying past Littlehampton then arrived to briefly visit my folks at Worthing and have a curry at their local Indian which was blinding.

Onto Shoreham, then flying down into the town at Brighton, before heading onto Eastbourne on a coastal mission. I did not really stop at these places, merely riding through in a quest to mark up landmarks during my 'pint of milk' journey

I was proper tired now. The CBR1000 is agile on the move and weightless, but very cumbersome at slow speeds and there was plenty of that. My **** properly ached, I'm relatively skinny and it was beginning to become uncomfortable. I found that I had to stand up to kill the bad cramps that I was getting from my thighs. Maybe this was just due to not riding for a while?



It was getting dark and I had nowhere to stay. I rode around Eastbourne but all the sea front Hotels looked like they were mega-bucks and offered no secure parking or even a railing to chain my bike to

Running around for half an hour I turned into a side street and found a B&B which had the vacant sign in the window Fearing a biker rejection at 19:50, I knocked regardless and was met with a very friendly chap that was only too happy to accept me for the night. Thank God for that! Not my previous experiences for sure

This is the place if you are ever in Eastbourne - biker friendly and a stunning cooked breakfast too..



I woke courtesy of my screaming alarm at 8am, showered and ready for 'brekkie' at 8.20am. Checked out by 08.45, I was trying to start the Honda but it wouldn't bite. Don't know still whether this is because the choke doesn't actually work, or because I flooded it, but it was a total bh and made me look real stupid despite my best attempts to look cool on a 23 year old relic, ridden by a 46 year old relic!

Got it running and naturally spanked the Bejesus out of it just to remind the bh who was the master

Tantrums aside; I witnessed a beautiful sun across the water .. this was a spectacularly visual effect and one that I was grateful to witness.. need more **** though as there were NO wimen anywhere at this time

Leaving the OAP dream that is Eastbourne, and the fleet of mindlessly driven Kia's and Skoda's, it was apparent that I had survived the assault of senile motoring despite being on two wheels. At this time of morning, they are still wrapped up in their 40tog quilts with their electric blankets on so you are relatively safe.

Once again; following the coast line, I pushed hard and ended up in Hastings. Some truly remarkable roads offering the 'right opportunities' to those that suffered traffic and 'Retiree' drivers



Through Fairlight and then onto Camber Sands! Parking was tricky.. a lot of sand and then pay and display..



I got to this place before they opened up..



Plenty happening on on the beach. Notice the boxing training going on...



these 'kids' were good fun to watch and very aggressive!



When I came back I noticed a parking ticket stuck on my plastic screen! He clocked me on return and wandered over. Obviously slightly mentally challenged he told me, "It says here you must display your ticket clearly in the windscreen" "Look mate", I stammered, trying to find some words that didn't include fk in every sentence, "I don't have a proper windscreen and the ticket would fly off in the wind as your tickets don't have any adhesive.. my ticket is here on the back of the cargo net, surely you can't miss that?"..

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He was truly gutted, I watched his face drain when he spotted it - He had this gormless WTF face but without any attitude and he was sulking while I tore up the ticket, put it back in the little plastic bag and handed it back to him. I almost asked if he minded me taking a photo of him looking like that, but decided to quit while ahead Couple of minutes later and I was off again, this time to Dim Church, then onto Hythe, following this route.



From Hythe it would be rude not to visit Folstone, so I did.



It was bloody cold there! I had a chat with old guy and listened to some stories of his before deciding I need to press on before I freeze.. the wind chill out in the open at the top of the cliff was worse than on the bike as there was nowhere to hide from it. Where now? well it would be stupid to come all this way and not to visit Dover wouldn't it?The coast rode is called Military Road which happened to be empty so I engaged the Lepton drive and off we went.

Dover is mental if you don't like HGV's.. I felt like a pinball trying to position myself in the right place on the road so that these guys could see me.. there were HGV's on both lanes, all elephant racing. I waited patiently and my time came allowing me to zing through on the outside and to get right up to the harbour area where I could see the white cliffs and another bike parked up on its own.. looked like a good place to be!



As I approached the rider was to the side of his bike having a smoke. I pulled up alongside and nodded, he acknowledged and we had a chat. His bike, an almost new CBR600 only had a few thousand miles on the clock, and he was pleased with it, even coming from an R1 which some bd nicked 'Ian' was a nice guy, into trackdays for fun and when I asked him what he was doing here, "Throwing a sickie as it's too nice to be at work" he said.. Hmm that sounds familiar

"You up for a ride out?" he said? "Where did you have in mind?" said I. "How about Brands Hatch? " Hell yeah! I nodded with a childish grin and we rode across the the garage to fill up (yet again!) before embarking. Both of weighing up each others abilities and bike capabilities I was itching to see how my ancient relic would compete against this latest offering from Honda. Just putting these machines next to each other was laughable in the styling differences On the road, however, I had to anticipate his break into the open roads, because if I was in the in the wrong gear, the CBR6 just started to pull ahead into the horizon. The duelling route was to be the M20 which is a fairly fast road, and we did not suffer a lot of traffic.. most people were at work! Road conditions were good, it was warming up, no cloud and dry roads. Perfect really I was buzzing my **** off now, what a cracking journey I had had, and now to meet another biker who was also throwing a sickie made it the perfect day out. Random hot weather reminded us that we did the right thing, and now we were zipping along the M20, both very cautious but taking advantage of the empty roads and perfect conditions. He was very similar to me, looking out for hazards and dropping back a bit if we got a scare. We kept good distance between us and maintained it building trust allowing us to try a little harder

I cannot remember exactly where we were, but we ended up on a wide, straight, dual carriageway, stopping at a red light.. he was in lane one and me in lane two.. I uttered the immortal words, "You up for a drag race off the line?" and he agreed. Visors down, it was like waiting for the Christmas Tree at the pod to go green On Amber the revs rose, and on Green I went for it but not ***** out as I didn't yet know how well the clutch would deal with it and whether it might decide to lock up and launch me skywards.. it was more of a rolling start tbh, and once proper rolling I wound it round to 9500 in first, thereabouts in 2nd, 3rd then 4th and then I missed a bloody gear in 5th bouncing the needle off the limiter. I pulled on the selector hard and got the gear this time round and glanced in the mirror.. I was ahead ! But only just. We carried on revving out and both decided it was enough as the performance was very close between the two and there was nothing else to prove. I was well chuffed - the CBR six was Honda's current offering and my fat, lazy, 23 year old hippopotamus styled relic, managed to hold its own. Of course I wouldn't be here if there had been any corners involved

Arriving at Brands, Ian asked the steward if we could go through into the paddock. "Sorry mate, they're all getting ready down there, but I can let you stop at the car park on the right.. I've let a couple of other bikers through". Nice one mate we said and in we went. Walked right through, and past the Vuaxhall VXR promo stand with a yellow Ute with a handfull of VXR 8's next to it. We grabbed a coffee at the top of the hill and just chilled in the sun watching the cars blat it out in the distance



After half an hour we walked through the tunnel and round the back of the pits and watched the racing for another hour or so.. I was trying to catch the cars lifting their rear wheel every time but the camera phone was just too slow!



With the temperature just starting to drop, and the need to have a massive dump with the hospitality toilets closed, I decided it was time to head for home. We exchanged telephone numbers and I knew I had met a new mate who I would see again when we got the chance. He was a genuinely nice bloke and we had a lot in common.

Getting on to the 25 I hooked a left and he carried on as he was based not far from Brands.. I had the rush hour commute to deal with, with sporadic breaking and the lane adjusters trying to take me down even though I was filtering at less than 20 with dipped beams - do these idiots drive 'using the force' ?

Think it was about half six when I squeezed the bike down the side alley and onto the patio at the rear of the house.. I was John Wayne, and was now aching properly.

I pulled up the map data from the Zumo and this is what is showed me.. the blue line is the route.



I left the house for a pint of milk on Thursday at around 12.30 midday.. I got home half six the following day having covered 407 miles, 4 fuel stops, and having visited the following places, albeit somewhat briefly

Heathrow
Hayling Island
Selsey
Bognor Regis
Shoreham
Brighton
Eastbourne
Hastings
Fairlight
Camber Sands
Dym Church
Hythe
Folkstone
Dover
Brands Hatch
Heathrow

I've learnt a lot more about myself and the bike.. and met another friend. I cannot see myself selling this one anytime soon, infact I'm wondering what else I could buy to add to the fleet

The question really is why I sold the last one! It's great to be back on two wheels

 

Bloody wonderful story Baron. Good narrative, good photos.

But you still forgot to pick up the feckin milk didn't you?

 

Ain't that the truth - great trip - I'd say we all could easily relate to that in every way.
Thanks for sharing that it invigorates the whole ideal of what it is to own a Hurricane