stranded on a deserted island
#1
12-24-2005, 07:29 PM
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Indiana
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stranded on a deserted island
A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft."
Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and she says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years!" he says.
She reaches over, unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"
Then she asks, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"
He replies, "Ten years!"
She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"
Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?"
And the man replies, "My God! Don't tell me you've got a motorcycle in there!"
Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and she says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years!" he says.
She reaches over, unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"
Then she asks, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"
He replies, "Ten years!"
She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"
Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?"
And the man replies, "My God! Don't tell me you've got a motorcycle in there!"
#5
12-25-2005, 01:07 PM
RE: stranded on a deserted island
That reminds me of another 'Stranded Island' joke...
A guy get stranded on an island with Cindy Crawford. After a few weeks together she grows to like him and one night they end up having sex. The next morning the guy looks at her and say's "Last night was incredible, a fantasy come true. Could you do me a favor to cap things off?" She say's "sure what is it?" He asks her to put his baseball cap and coat on, which seems weird to her but reluctantly she agrees. He then stands up, gives her a high five and say's "Dude, you're not gonna believe it, I f**ked Cindy Crawford last night!!!"
A guy get stranded on an island with Cindy Crawford. After a few weeks together she grows to like him and one night they end up having sex. The next morning the guy looks at her and say's "Last night was incredible, a fantasy come true. Could you do me a favor to cap things off?" She say's "sure what is it?" He asks her to put his baseball cap and coat on, which seems weird to her but reluctantly she agrees. He then stands up, gives her a high five and say's "Dude, you're not gonna believe it, I f**ked Cindy Crawford last night!!!"
#7
12-28-2005, 12:25 AM
#8
12-28-2005, 12:32 AM
RE: stranded on a deserted island
Hope you enjoy this one. Repsol1
Two married buddies were out street racing one night when one turns to the other & says "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I get home after we've been out street racing, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine & coast into the garage. I take me shoes off before I go into the house. I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet & pee down my leg to avoid any splashing sounds. I ease into bed & my wife STILL wakes up & yells at me for staying out so late."
His buddy looks at him & says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the *** & shout WHO'S HORNY?!"... She acts like she's asleep every time."!
Two married buddies were out street racing one night when one turns to the other & says "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I get home after we've been out street racing, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine & coast into the garage. I take me shoes off before I go into the house. I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet & pee down my leg to avoid any splashing sounds. I ease into bed & my wife STILL wakes up & yells at me for staying out so late."
His buddy looks at him & says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the *** & shout WHO'S HORNY?!"... She acts like she's asleep every time."!
