Who can tell the funniest joke? Challenge
#21
11-12-2010, 06:36 PM
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: South Yorkshire UK
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#22
11-12-2010, 06:38 PM
Join Date: Nov 2010
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#23
11-13-2010, 11:34 AM
Are Ole & Sven jokes banned? Just in case this joke will not make fun of those of Norwegian extraction. It will instead use a long-gone nationality to which nobody has a connection. So:
Two Hittites, Ole and Sven, had made the long trek from North Dakota into Canada to sample some of the best fishing anywhere. The cold, pure waters found up there gave home to fish of fantastic size, firm flesh, and flavor that was beyond anything found south of the border (the Canadian/U.S. border, that is)
They were nearly skunked. Two weeks, one fish -small for the region -coming in at only ten pounds. They finally gave up and headed home. Back in Bismark Ole dropped Sven off at his house, helped him carry his gear to the garage, and then they went in for a beer. As they drank a cool one Ole went through the receipts from their trip, totaled it all up and shook his head sadly.
"Vell, Sven, that there fish cost us dang near two hundred dollars a pound. Your share is a tousand dollars."
Sven shook his head and replied, "By golly, it a good ting ve didn't catch two of them."
Two Hittites, Ole and Sven, had made the long trek from North Dakota into Canada to sample some of the best fishing anywhere. The cold, pure waters found up there gave home to fish of fantastic size, firm flesh, and flavor that was beyond anything found south of the border (the Canadian/U.S. border, that is)
They were nearly skunked. Two weeks, one fish -small for the region -coming in at only ten pounds. They finally gave up and headed home. Back in Bismark Ole dropped Sven off at his house, helped him carry his gear to the garage, and then they went in for a beer. As they drank a cool one Ole went through the receipts from their trip, totaled it all up and shook his head sadly.
"Vell, Sven, that there fish cost us dang near two hundred dollars a pound. Your share is a tousand dollars."
Sven shook his head and replied, "By golly, it a good ting ve didn't catch two of them."
#24
11-13-2010, 06:48 PM
#27
11-17-2010, 11:52 AM
Senior Member
#28
11-17-2010, 11:53 AM
#29
11-17-2010, 11:59 AM
Senior Member
#30
11-17-2010, 07:28 PM
Senior Member
The Zipper! The Texan?
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became
aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to
come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus
driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little,
thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg
She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached
behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the
second time attempted the step.
Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind
to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing
behind her picked her up easily by the waist
and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic and turned to the
would-be Samaritan
and yelled,
'How dare you touch my body!
I don't even know who you are!'
The Texan smiled and drawled,
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became
aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to
come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus
driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little,
thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg
She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached
behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the
second time attempted the step.
Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind
to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing
behind her picked her up easily by the waist
and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic and turned to the
would-be Samaritan
and yelled,
'How dare you touch my body!
I don't even know who you are!'
The Texan smiled and drawled,
'Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you,
but after you unzipped my fly three times,
I kinda figured we was friends.'
I kinda figured we was friends.'