Topic:
I have a beautiful girlfriend that I love and care about. She is the one that I want to marry one day. She has been everything I wanted from a girl

Problem:
Before we meet she had decided on a college to go to which is 2.5hrs away. Now she only wants to go there for a semester at most and come back. Reason she is going up there is parents want her to have a "college experience" (which she doesn't agree with)granted in no way shape or form she wants to go up there but feels like she has too since they paid for some of it.

How to solve issue?:
I have been cheated on before when my ex went to college. Now no way are these two alike in any which way but I get those scared thoughts of it happening again like I am re-living it almost like a nightmare. I have found myself to shake,cry, and get angry(to the point were I just want to speed on the bike/summer car) when I think about her leaving. Problem is I feel like I am making her feel bad which I do not want to do but we have a open relationship which I respect so I tell her and show her how I feel.

Is there anything I can do or improve on to coupe with?
Is there anything in general I can do to make the situation easier?
Any other advice?

Thanks guys just venting more than anything.

 

Krux, The only advice here I can give you. All good relationships are based on trust.
She has to trust you & you her. Sure you're paranoid that the "college experience" may also include her meeting others. But that's not the problem right know, we all have had similar experiences, but you're only making things worse for yourself worrying about something that may happen. Say you did marry this girl, are you going to get worried every time she goes down the shops or out with friends? Nothing kills a relationship quicker than jealousy. Trust, sure you may get kicked in the nad's again, but that means she wasn't the right one.

 

I cant offer advice with out a picture lol

 

If she really doesn't want to go she wouldn't go. I think she wants to go but can't face to tell you because you will get upset. Everything in a relationship is based on trust and no lies. If she really loves you things only get better when you all are apart. Johnnyh

 

How old is she and is she living with her parents? If she's still in high school or just out of high school and still living at home, her parents should have a lot more influence on her. If she's an adult and living on her own, I would try to convince her that it really is her decision and not her parents'. However, unless she's already a very bright, intelligent young woman with plenty of career potential, I would recommend going to college.

What are some of your other options? How far away would marriage be for you two? How much would it complicate your life to relocate closer to where she would be going to college? Are there other options of where she can go to college?

If it must be that you stay put and she leaves for college, you just have to trust her. There are few things that can tear a relationship apart faster than a lack of trust. I know it's hard (I dated a girl for 1 1/2 years three states away), but you can't just act trusting. You have to be trusting. If you trust her and she doesn't abuse it, you have a winner. Otherwise, let your wounds heal and move on.

Hope I've helped. I'm going through girl problems myself, so I can sympathize, somewhat.

 

krux, this is gonna be somthin you dont want to hear... but if you love somthing(someone)set it free , if it dont return THEN hunt it down and kill it.... if its ment to be there will be no worries... here it it is from a dad point of view, ive worked my whole life to do better for my family and one thing ive done is pay monthly for pre-paid college for my kids(boy and girl)so that they wont go down the hard path ive gone down, thatbein said, i dont care if she fell in love with a boy or not , she IS going to college..period, if that boy winds up bein "the one" then im fine with that, but NOTHING will get in the way of her (and him) goin to college and having an education.... hope this helps you see it from the "dad" point of view...I feel for you and your situation, but brutha , try hard not to hold her back as that will olny drive her away....have peece with this or it will eat you alive, and life is very short...peece


DARRIN

 

yeah man its all based on trust. i know those feelings but sometimes its just a lack of trust on your end. sometimes i have bad dreams about things like that happen but my gf assures me and everyone that knows her assures me that she wouldnt ever do anything like that.

it would really help for you to talk to a good friend and to talk to her and see how well it goes over

just remember sometimes it just you having like an anxiety attack, you just gotta put urself in a different place and realize that everything is just fine your just having bad thoughts for no reason.

just chill out talk to your girl at a nice dinner or something and think of what she told you during that talk when you start having the bad feelings again.

btw if it is an open relationship you should probs close it if u dont want her hookin up with ppl, and that means u cant hook up with anyone else either. its really not a hard thing to do

 

she needs to go to 4 years of college. move with her if thats a big problem

 

I agree.
But I'd also like to add that you shouldn't be upset about the possibility of someone cheating on you/leaving you or whatever. Leave that stupid chit in the past where it belongs. All you're gonna do is upset yourself, and probably sabotage the very relationship you want to keep.
If you honestly believe she's gonna cheat, then get out. If not, and you care about the girl.... do the best you can for her. (which means pulling yourself together....getting her through college.... or whatever)

Girls aren't looking for more problems unless they're idiots.

 

I'm sorry I didn't really read all of your post b4 I posted my first reply. Now that I'v read this why do you care? it's clear you are already sharing her or if you're not, then YOU are seeing someone else, otherwise it's not an open relationship

Kinda reminds me of 2 of the women I'm seeing they both have boyfriends and when their boyfriend calls while they are with me it's quite awkward ;P but it's either that or I dont get to see them and they make me happy. You can't have your cake and eat it too. If it bothers you stop making it open.

Otherwise you have no real reason to complain.