In todays court system the best thing you can do is get a lawyer, even if she actually wants to be fair about it, it's likely it won't end up that way unless you have someone on your side, because she has the entire court system on hers. And as for the marriage, if after twenty years she's willing to put you through this, then she's either not the person you thought she was and loved, or she's changed from that person. Either way if she loved you still she wouldn't be putting you through this, people like to claim they still love the person they are leaving, but it's usually just to try to spare feelings. Maybe it's for the best for both of you, people have a tendency to prolong the inevitable but a clean break is usually for the best. Don't torture yourself with a slow prolonged breakup. At least next time your out riding and some cutie winks at you, you can actually stop and say hi.

Either way it seems you have your head still on straight, good for you, stay strong brother. You've got all of our best wishes. Can't imagine what I could do to help, but if you can think of anything just lemme know.

 

Well, you'd know best. But like you said, the kids know. They always know, sometimes a clean break is best for them as well. I see where your coming from though completely, just keep the idea of a a cheap place of your own on the back burner. Like you said, you never know how things will turn out down the road and if you two end up being at eachothers throats all the time a few months to a year down the road it might be best to move into a cheap apartment rather than let the kids watch their parents relationship disintegrate in front of them. Either way, here's hoping for the best for you.