A story I shouldn't tell...
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From: Fort Awesome
A story I shouldn't tell...
So, my wife manages one of the most popular bars in town. The Monster rep was there for MNF, so the boss called everybody in for an impromptu meeting. Now, she doesn't drink very often, and if she does, she may have a couple of glasses of wine. Well, she was drinking the Yeager Bombs last night and having a fine time, I must say. I wanted to go home after the game, so she said she'd get a cab and come home later.
I wake up several hours later with her sobbing, "This isn't going to work, this isn't going to work." I ask her what the hell she is talking about. Apparently she was mad because she came home, made a beeline to the toilet, and was throwing up everywhere...and I didn't wake up. So I try reasoning with her, and nothing doing (reasoning with a drunk person = fail). So, she slides off the bed, and starts to dry heave on the carpet, so I rush her into the bathroom. She comes out a few minutes later naked, and says how much she loves me...then starts to get sick again. Then there is the litany of, "I am never drinking again!" I stayed up for a about an hour helping her out, and was happy when she finally crashed.
This morning I went into the living room, and there is vomittyblanket and a bunch of puke chunks and paper towelsin the sink. I almost lost it. I ended up calling in sick to work because I was really tired (plus I have to use up that week of sick pay
). I think I will spend the rest of the day playing GTA4 and running ice chips to the bedroom. As of now, she is resting comfortably...
I wake up several hours later with her sobbing, "This isn't going to work, this isn't going to work." I ask her what the hell she is talking about. Apparently she was mad because she came home, made a beeline to the toilet, and was throwing up everywhere...and I didn't wake up. So I try reasoning with her, and nothing doing (reasoning with a drunk person = fail). So, she slides off the bed, and starts to dry heave on the carpet, so I rush her into the bathroom. She comes out a few minutes later naked, and says how much she loves me...then starts to get sick again. Then there is the litany of, "I am never drinking again!" I stayed up for a about an hour helping her out, and was happy when she finally crashed.
This morning I went into the living room, and there is vomittyblanket and a bunch of puke chunks and paper towelsin the sink. I almost lost it. I ended up calling in sick to work because I was really tired (plus I have to use up that week of sick pay
). I think I will spend the rest of the day playing GTA4 and running ice chips to the bedroom. As of now, she is resting comfortably... 
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
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RE: A story I shouldn't tell...
Haha, I hate drunk wives = the worst, especialy when your not drunk. GL man, I'm sure the attitude changed in the morning once she realized you cleaned everything up.
P.s. I'm jealous that you get to play gta4 all day!!!
P.s. I'm jealous that you get to play gta4 all day!!!
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,099
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RE: A story I shouldn't tell...
ORIGINAL: voodoochyl
So, my wife manages one of the most popular bars in town. The Monster rep was there for MNF, so the boss called everybody in for an impromptu meeting. Now, she doesn't drink very often, and if she does, she may have a couple of glasses of wine. Well, she was drinking the Yeager Bombs last night and having a fine time, I must say. I wanted to go home after the game, so she said she'd get a cab and come home later.
I wake up several hours later with her sobbing, "This isn't going to work, this isn't going to work." I ask her what the hell she is talking about. Apparently she was mad because she came home, made a beeline to the toilet, and was throwing up everywhere...and I didn't wake up. So I try reasoning with her, and nothing doing (reasing with a drunk person = fail). So, she slides off the bed, and starts to dry heave on the carpet, so I rush her into the bathroom. She comes out a few minutes later naked, and says how much she loves me...then starts to get sick again. Then there is the litany of, "I am never drinking again!" I stayed up for a about an hour helping her out, and was happy when she finally crashed.
This morning I went into the living room, and there is vomittyblanket and a bunch of puke chunks and paper towelsin the sink. I almost lost it. I ended up calling in sick to work because I was really tired (plus I have to use up that week of sick pay). I think I will spend the rest of the day playing GTA4 and running ice chips to the bedroom. As of now, she is resting comfortably...
So, my wife manages one of the most popular bars in town. The Monster rep was there for MNF, so the boss called everybody in for an impromptu meeting. Now, she doesn't drink very often, and if she does, she may have a couple of glasses of wine. Well, she was drinking the Yeager Bombs last night and having a fine time, I must say. I wanted to go home after the game, so she said she'd get a cab and come home later.
I wake up several hours later with her sobbing, "This isn't going to work, this isn't going to work." I ask her what the hell she is talking about. Apparently she was mad because she came home, made a beeline to the toilet, and was throwing up everywhere...and I didn't wake up. So I try reasoning with her, and nothing doing (reasing with a drunk person = fail). So, she slides off the bed, and starts to dry heave on the carpet, so I rush her into the bathroom. She comes out a few minutes later naked, and says how much she loves me...then starts to get sick again. Then there is the litany of, "I am never drinking again!" I stayed up for a about an hour helping her out, and was happy when she finally crashed.
This morning I went into the living room, and there is vomittyblanket and a bunch of puke chunks and paper towelsin the sink. I almost lost it. I ended up calling in sick to work because I was really tired (plus I have to use up that week of sick pay
). I think I will spend the rest of the day playing GTA4 and running ice chips to the bedroom. As of now, she is resting comfortably... 
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Joined: Jan 2000
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From: Conyers, GA
RE: A story I shouldn't tell...
Isn't it just great when they've tossed the first round and start feeling horny with the alcohol/puke breath thing goin on? I'm with the other dude ... would rather go to work[8D]
But thanks for sharing ... makes my life seem very stable right now
But thanks for sharing ... makes my life seem very stable right now
Senior Member
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,473
Likes: 3
From: Newcastle, N.S.W. Australia
RE: A story I shouldn't tell...
Great story, my wife has done similar things, mixing up her drinks, not a good idea.
Just keep that night in the old 'Get out of jail free card'. You sir now have the key to a wonderful night out on the ****, to play up & make merry. Unlocked with words 'Like I'm only one thats come home drunk before'.
Just keep that night in the old 'Get out of jail free card'. You sir now have the key to a wonderful night out on the ****, to play up & make merry. Unlocked with words 'Like I'm only one thats come home drunk before'.