Just about every time I ride I run into a phenomenon I call "the story". I'll be stopped somewhere minding my own business, and it begins. I notice someone approaching. "Nice bike!" is normally how it starts.

After initial bike compliments the person invariably starts into a story. These stories usually involve them having some super machine at home, or how they know a guy who has a Hayabusa. Or worse yet they feel the need to recount their late best friend who was killed in a fireball of death after colliding with god-knows what.

The bike stories are always B.S., as I believe are the accident recounts for the most part. What I can't figure out is why people feel the need to come up and start talking to me in the first place, just because I've got a "crotch rocket" standing next to me. I really don't mind talking bikes with people that know them (but they generally roll up on other bikes). Acutally I need to take that statement back a bit. Some of the biggest morons I've encountered have approached straddling some ultra massive cruising bike.

I think it comes from people being terrified of the common sportbike. Almost invariable the story tellers are men. I think they feel ashamed for being awe struck by the bike (not to mention the guy standing next to it in full race suit). Just by being there I am out doing them. As their ***** begins to shrink they feel they need to save themselves by justifying why they are in awe. They need to make up stories in order to somehow equate themselsve to the guy on the fast bike.

To give some examples of the best stories I've heard:

1. "Back in the 60's I had an Indian. I was forced to dump it in a ditch going 160mph to avoid an accident. I never rode again" (I'd love to see the mods done to that indian, the guy had some memory fade and forgot which Indian model he owned. Weird considering it was worth more than most cars on the road at that time.)

2. "I'm into fast bikes. I've got a 1976 CB900 at home. I took it off the road because I got too many speeding tickets. You've got the 600 eh? Well I'm sure once you've ridden a little more you'll want to move to something faster like the 900." (Maybe he had a CB900, but I noticed that the displacement only came out after he noticed mine was a lowly 600. Upon further probing regaring his bike it was pretty apparent he had never owned a bike of any kind)

3. "I've got a Harley Fatboy. I've had it up to about 140mph. It's fast! (his jaw dropped when I asked about his gearing and called him a liar. the bike is only geared for 115mph).

I'd be interested to know if this phenomenon only happens to me. If you've heard some good ones then please post them. I myself have stopped being polite. It has occurred enough i now just poke holes in the story, or simply say "I've got to go". I hate having to be an ***, but we all have our limits.

 

Interesting and true. I don't get very many people approaching me. I guess it's my facial expression. I don't have the friendly approachable face that would spark cordial conversation. I least that's my aim.

I haven't had very many elaborate stories, but the occasional 'nice bike' and 'cool color'. I can't think of a long winded story, per say, but what I do get are news reports. I get the 'did you hear about the rider that died?' stories.

Honestly, I'm not happy to admit it, but it's my family that typically feels compelled to 'inform' me of the latest and greatest tragic stories about death and dismemberment. My response is always the same. I shrug it off and say that every year people will die in Motorcycles, Automobiles, and Wal-Mart Self Check out isles. It's inevitable that an impatient Wal-Mart customer will be pushed too far waiting for the computer illiterate imbecile to simply slid the bar code threw the scan.

 

Yeah, I too have the phenomenon known as "stories" from time to time.

Mostly, I'll just get the "hey, nice bike" or such, but one that stands out was last summer when I was sitting at a red light:

Kid in car next to me: rolls down window and says nice bike.
me: thanks
kid: Is it fast?
me: sure, it's pretty quick
kid: I have aSuzuki R1 (yes, a suzuki R1)at home, but I'm scared to ride it
me: oh, that's cool.

If I had windows, I would have rolled them up at this point

kid: get on it when the light turns green
me: no, too many cops around - lame excuse, but I'm not out riding to impress anyone.

PS ^ I don't think Honda ever offered a CB900, so he was full of it. They had the famous CB750, 750KR, and also the smaller CB450. Even if they did, todays 600's would run circles around a dated 750 or 900 as the case may be.

 

last friday i pulled up next to an old yami 900...it was old but sooooo clean!
he said: "is that a thousand"
i said: "no i don't need a thousand"
he laughed...light turned green and he smoked me.

ok in reality i said: "no it's a 600" and he just turned his head. must've been my wife-beater tank top i was sporting that made him think i had a liter bike! muahahahhah

 

I haven't had any "stories" on my bike yet, but that did happen to me literally almost every day when I had my '65 mustang fastback. God, I loved that car. Anyway, I would hear stories ALL THE TIME about how "I used to have one of those when they were new" or "just a 289?? My Camaro's got a 350!" or "Hey, smoke them tires!"
My heart broke into millions of pieces the night a drunk illegal Mexican (no offense, Voodoo!) ran a red light and t-boned me. He fled the scene of the accident, but was followed home by a 19 yr old girl with her 2 yr old baby in the backseat. She called the cops, thankfully! Car was totaled, and I miss her dearly!

 

I think he turned away because you didn't offer him a sip of the Starbucks you were drinking while you were riding.

And Tennessee..."Qiereme como soy! Soy un badido enojado!!"

 

I like to repair the plastics on my bike if/when I wreck, but leave the "scars" on the paint. I know my bike isn't as pretty as the others, but it makes for some great conversation starters.

 

Que'? Golpea a su esposa y su cabritos??

 

Most of the stories I get are about riders who've died and I always ask...ohh what happened?

Well he was running from the cops and took a turn too wide...
He fell off cause a car cut him off... well was he wearing gear? No.

I have no sympathy/respect for people who dont respect their bikes, ride out of their skill level, or ride without a decent amount of gear on, no matter what. There's no excuse. There are a whole lot of ways to avoid cagers hitting you and whether the rider chooses to do it is their own business.

 

Check out the link: http://www.hondacb900f.com/
The CB900 came in a sport model (the 'F') with chain drive, and a Cruiser (the Special?) with a shaft drive IIRC. The 900F was a hot rod in its day. Dated now, but sill a good looking bike.