Sick Leave

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the
Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought
that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY' then he would tell me to
take a few days off. So I hung upside down from the
ceiling and made funny noises.

My coworker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing?
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so
that the Boss would think I was 'CRAZY' and give me a
few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into
the office and asked 'What are you doing ?' I told him
I was a light bulb.

He said 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and
recuperate for a couple of days' I jumped down and
walked out of the office. When my coworker (the
blonde) followed me, the Boss said to her, ' And where
do you think you're going?'

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She said, 'I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark![/align][/align][/align][/align]

 

A blonde tried to sell her old car, but she was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with. The brunette told her, 'There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal.'

'That doesn't matter,' replied the blonde, 'if I only can sell the car.'
'Okay,' said the brunette. 'Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore.'

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, 'Did you sell your car?'

'No,' replied the blonde, 'why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it.'

 

bahwahwah


That was good

 

 

A blond goes to her doctor and complains about how bad her husband's dandruff. The doctor told her to give him Head and Shoulders, and come back in a week.

A week later she returns to the doctor confused. She said, "I gave him head, but I don't know how to give him shoulders..."

 

Very funny

 

A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet." So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"

 

A blonde went to a doctor with a terrible bruise around her bellybutton... turns out her boyfriend is blonde too.