Who does and who doesn't cop to them?

This was taken out of another thread, so it would have it's own and the other thread would stay on subject...LOL

So let me hear what all of ya have to say.

For me.....
I'm half and half. If they're really good and I'm around a bunch of friends I'll claim them mine. If I'm in a public place, I don't and I'll just walk away in another direction. HEHE [sm=badbadbad.gif]

Make sure that when you do walk away, you're not walking right back into your own [:'(].....LOL


[sm=smiley11.gif]Silence is Deadly!!![sm=smiley11.gif]

 

The Fart Name List


The Alarm Fart - This is a good fart for the beginner. It is easy to identify. It starts with a loud unnaturally high note, wavers like a siren, and ends with a quick downward note that stops before you expect it to. It sounds like something is wrong. If it happens to you, you will know right off why it is called the Alarm Fart. You will be alarmed. The alarm fart however is rare.

The Amplified Fart - This is any fart that gets its power more from being amplified than from the fart itself. A metal porch swing will amplify a fart every time. So will a plywood table,and empty fifty gallon drum, a tin roof, or some empty cardboard boxes if they are strong through being amplified in this way can be called an Amplified Fart. These are common farts under the right conditions

The Anticipated Fart - This one warns that it is back there waiting for some time before it arrives. A person who is uneasy for a time in a crowd and who later farts at a time when they think no one will notice has farted an Anticipated Fart.

The Back Seat Fart - This is a fart that occurs only in automobiles. It is identified chiefly by odor. The Back Seat Fart can usually be concealed by traffic noise as it is an eased-out fart and not very loud. But its foul odor will give it away, due to the way air moves around in a car. It is often followed by someone saying, "Who farted in the back seat?"

The Barn Owl Fart - A familiarity with owl calls is helpful in identifying this fart. Almost any morning if you get up just before daybreak you can hear one of these birds talking to himself. It's a sort of a crazy laugh, particularly the way it ends. If you hear a fart that has about eight notes in it, ending on a couple of down notes, and it sounds maniacal, you have heard the rare Barn Owl Fart.

The Bathtub Fart - People who would never in their life know one fart from another, who would like to act like fart don't exist, will have to admit that a Bathtub Fart is something special. It is the only fart you can see! What you see is the bubbles. The Bathtub Fart can be either single or multiple noted and fair or foul as to odor. It makes no difference. The farter's location is what does it. Maybe there is a kind of muffled pong and one big bubble. Or there may be a ping ping ping and a bunch of bubbles. The sound I should point out depends somewhat on the depth of the water, and even more on the tub. If it is one of those big old heavy tubs with the funny legs you can get terrific sound effects. While one of the new thin ones half buried in the floor can be disappointing.

The Biggest Fart in the World Fart - Like the great bald eagle, this fart is pretty well described just by its name. This can either be a group one or a group two fart and can occur just about anywhere. I heard it one time, a group two identification, in a crowded high school auditorium one night, right in that silence that happens when a room full of people has stopped singing the Star Spangled Banner and sat down. It came from the back. There was not a soul in that room that missed it. A fart like that can be impressive. The most diagnostic characteristic of the Biggest Fart In The World is it size.Fart freaks who go around showing off, farting like popcorn machines, and making faces before they fart or asking you to pull their finger and then they fart, never have what it takes for this one, which is rare even among your most serious farter's.


The Bullet Fart - Its single and most pronounced diagnostic characteristic is its sound. It sounds like a rifle shot. The farter can be said to have snapped it off. It can startle spectators and farter alike. Fairly common following the eating of the more common fart foods, such as beans.

The Burning Brakes Fart - A silent fart identified b

 

I see you've put a lot of thought into this.

 

I always claim responsibility for mine. They are so foul and obvious that theres no question who's it was. I can clear a room if I bust some ***. Its kind of a talent I have honed through the years, with my garbage disposal eating habits and constant mix of taco bell, soda, hard alcohol, beer, and numerous other foods.

My farts are dangerous and deserve respect, because, they are extremely hazardous. I gas the hell out of myself on many occasions.

 

I don't know if this was mentioned but the weapon of choice is the Dutch Oven. While in bed pull the sheets over your heads and let one go.

 

that's quite the comprehensive list you have there. i can't believe it missed the backwards burp and laying wolf eggs.
and absolutely nothin' about paper mills either!?!

 

This thread should be named, Everything you wanted to know about farts, but were afraid to ask!!!!!!!

 

Not really. Was just a little bored. It was easy to find and I didn't type everything. Copy and paste saves lost of time. HEHE

Sorry they didn't have those...lol
But now everyone else knows about them.

VERY INTERESTING!!!

 

OMG, now HERE'S an interesting topic for first thing in the a.m.

I can't really recall any times I'm let one fly in a big group of people or anything, so I dunno how I'd react to that.... but I HAVE (when the opportunity presented itself) blamed it on dogs, children or other people nearby. But if I'm busted, I just try to look really innocent, bat my eyelashes, and pretend not to know what's going on... Chris sees right through this, but humors me nonetheless.

 

Do pretty girls fart? My boss, a dude, has a major farting prob and will rip whenever wherever. I never EVER rip near people. I could not be the guy who ****s himself in front of his woman and laughs, just not attractive. But MOTRGRL or whatever must be the coolest chick ever to even deal with this topic!