OK here it goes, I've been with the same girl for 8 years now, we're engaged and will be getting married in June (God willing). The problem doesnt lie in her, but her parents. They drive us absolutley insane! We are so close to getting our own house but I'm about to snap. They fight with us over nothing and everything at the same time. I'm sorry but I really cant explain it. Put it this way, her Aunts Uncles cousins, everyone knows there crazy and try to avoid them. One minute they are nice and ask you how work is the next minute they screaming at as because we didnt ask them to look at a house with us even thou they never go out anyway. I'm sorry to ramble on but this has been eatingme upbad for 4 years now and even thou there is light at the end of the tunnel I still think I'm going to cave it in. Well, I gotta leave work now but I have a feeling this is just part one of mystory. If I'm still pissed tomorrow I'll explain what happened today that made me that way and give more examples of how crazy her parents are.

Planning Wedding +House Hunting+Mentally IllIn-laws = Shawn goes crazy

 

Quick answer, whatever you do stay calm and dont lose it with her parents ..the damage can be irrepairable then ... next deep breathes it will work out provided you two hold your ground and stay calm ... back away from them when they act up, be there when they are pleasant ..its called positive reinforcement ..you reward good behaviour ..unfortunately some people are just plain crazy, at least others acknolwedge it though which is something, so you two dont need to feel alone ... sometimes theres nothing you can do either, if it persists distance yourselves from them ..dont let it affect your relationship, its not about them, its about you!!


Jules

 

when they really get on your nerves just smile and think how nice it will be when they are at home bitching at eachother bcuz you and the misses are at your house hopefully far away and are relaxing!

 

Punch her dad in the face, she'll like that you are a man and stand up for her!






*p.s.* don't use my advice =p

 

Are you living under their roof? For the last 4 years?

If so then it's on you. I would kill anyone that tried to stay with me that long, even if they were engaged to my kid.

 

That right there, is good advice.

 

Gotta admit there's a lt of truth in it.

 

Oh yes, if you are under the same roof thats always a big mistake .. I did that with my partners parents and its fatal, you are under the microscope all the time and feel you cant totally relax .. every arguement or cross word you have is noticed, you get blamed for things you havent done ..it really is a big no no for any couple to live with either parents when in a relationship ..so many things went wrong I can list them but its ugly


Jules

 

OK, I feel a little better today so let me try to elaborate on everything. First off, she lives with her parents and I live with mine. If I lived there with her I would have lost it a loooooong time ago. However I do feel that if I blew up on them next time the act up or disrespect their daughter (yes they call her names that I shouldn’t post) I would feel a lot better, but I have to respect the fact that she still lives there and with only a few months to go and us trying to save every penny it would be foolish to get an apartment at this stage. Without giving a history lesson on her parent’s insanity we believe they both have a severe case of bi-polar and are in denial. So one minute we're discussing the Red Sox then soon after they're screaming at as about how ungrateful we are and we have no idea.Now that has been the story for the past five years or so and I learned to live with that. But now the wedding, from day one her parents offered to pay for the photographer, limo, flowers, and half the hall. She and I were so grateful for that and along with my parents helping out it made the financial burden on us much easier. Now that things are booked and deposits/payments are due her parents are doing nothing but screaming at us about why they should pay for it and why can’t my parents pay for it. This coming from people who did nothing but throw traditions in my face? Isn’t the tradition that the BRIDES parents pay for the wedding? For some reason her parents have a problem with mine, they always need to feel more important than them for some reason. But my parents aren’t old school, they know times are different and they want to help. So basically what should be fun in planning a wedding is being destroyed by her parents.
House hunting, before becoming a desk jockey I was an electrician. Working in new and old homes for a few years help me know what to look for when inspecting a home, also my realtor is the best in the area which helps. My realtor, fiancé, and I must have seen almost twenty homes now and put offers in on about five (which fell thru) all of which neither sides parents have seen. Last Saturday the three of us had an appointment to see a house at 1:30. My fiancé and I were out running errands all morning and 1:30 was approaching. Unfortunately I left my notepad, flashlight and other things I like to bring along at my house so we figured it’s on the way, why not stop by and get them. So I run in to get them, of course my parents seeing my rush around ask me what I’m doing so I tell them. They replied that they don’t have anything to do so they would like to go, big mistake. Skipping ahead to yesterday now, my soon to be mother-in-law (huhhhhhhhhhhh) politely asks “how the house hunting was going.” So my fiancé replied its going good, we put an offer on one we looked at on Saturday, so her mom again politely asks “Oh ya? That’s good, who did you go with?” So for some reason she said “Shawn, the realtor, myself and his parents.” That was it, her mom went off on a tangent about how we hate her and love my parents and so on to the point where she made her soon to be married daughter leave the house in tears. Apparently she also had some strong words to say about me and my parents. So of course my fiancé calls me at work (2:30pm, I work until 5) and drops all this on me, I’m was stuck at work and couldn’t leave, I felt helpless and it ate me up for the rest of the day. Like you said Hatebreed, the only thing keeping me going is that in a few months we will be living together and can push her parents out of our life. (kind of pathetic no?)