Normally this is not something i would ask out in public, butmaybe someone can help a little. I have never had to go thru something like this before, and i have having a hard time dealing with it. I have mourned, and prayed, and spent a lot of time just riding around alone, buti just cant get the anger out of my system. Here is a short version of the story as taken from the news (dont feel like typing it out)...............


Police in Shawano County think the man who caused a tragic double fatal accident was drunk at the time of the crash. The Shawano County District Attorney's Office charged Richard Ware with multiple felonies and misdemeanors including two counts of homicide by intoxicated uses of a motor vehicle.

The crash happened on a Shawano County highway and killed James and Laura Tyndall.

Hearing what happened devastated one of Ware's friends, Matt Casper. "What happened was not intentional. I mean, rick's a good-hearted man."

According to court documents, Ware drank a 12-pack of beer before getting behind the wheel of this red car. Eventually slamming into the Tyndalls , sending them into the path of an oncoming semi.

Shawano County D.A. Greg Parker says this isn't the first time Ware has been accused of drinking and driving. "He has a pending owi case a blood alcohol concentration of 0.203." Parker said. Before the crash, Ware's friends said he was getting his life back together and just started a new job. Now, Ware faces a lifetime in prison.




This happened 1 week ago today, the funeral was 2 days ago. I have mourned the loss of my best friend and his wife, and i guess for the most part i am at peace with where they are, and that my life needs to go on without there wonderful presence in my life. However i am just so angry at the circumstances, and to be honest i just really want to kill this guy, i dont care about justice, this *&^$ just is not fair. So i guess if anyone has gone thru something like this, i could really use some advice, if there is any that will do me some good. For what its worth, work will not help either, Jim and i ran an automotive garage together, so going to work is hard as hell to do also.

 

if you believe in your cause fight with everything you have

 

Grief is a powerfull emotion, what your going through is normal, feelings of rage, feeling helpless & sorrow.
I'm sorry for your loss, I know that does not seem like much, as you don't know me & I did not know your friends. But I can relate to you & your loss just the same.
It will take a while (different for eveyone), but eventually you will feel stronger.

 

I agree with pacemaker. You just have to ride it out.

BTW, I wouldn't ride a bike in that stage of grief. You may be distracted by your feelings in an important situation. Please, don't do it for a little while.

Let yourself weep. It's going to keep springing up on you at times in the future when memories are stirred and you will need to stop and let it out for a little while. Time is the only cure for what you are going through.

I've been there. One of my best friends killed himself in his car less than a year out of HS. Nothing really set in until I saw him in his casket. I lost it and all of our friends lost it. We were hurt really bad. He spent his last night on this planet at my house with all his friends. I was completely devastated. I was academically dismissed from the college I was attending because I simply could not focus when I came back to school mere days after his accident. I would break down whenever I heard "friends forever" by TLC? and I was over come with grief. I even went to counseling for it but that really didn't help. It took me almost 2 years to really get a grip on what happened.

These experiences hurt but you have to learn things from them. It's been almost 5 years and I'm finally going back to school at the university I was dismissed from. I look at everyday as a gift. Death is as much a part of life as life itself and eventually you will come to terms with what happened.

Best of luck to you in your recovery.

 

it'll take a lot longer then just a few days man...keep ridin or whatever u do alone and you'll make sense of it eventually. if not go talk to someone professional and they'll guide you. sorry for everything man

 

Remember, the universe has a way of working things out. Hindus call it Karma. Christians believe you reap what you sow.

I believe this is true. If you are a jackass through life, you will get what is coming to you. If you like rock, listen to "People That Are Going to Hell" by the Vandals.

Stay level headed through your indignation. Grieve for your loss. Do not try any stunts that will cause hindrance to you and your family.

 

There is little you can do to feel better or speed up the process. Richard Ware's fate is out of your hands, all you can do wait it out.

Maybe out of respect for your buddy stop drinking, don't support those companies that are selling booze. Alcohol ruins so many lives, it is so counterproductive to society that I have stopped drinking last January/february. I am 44 years old and have seen so much sorrow come from booze that I lost my taste for it, maybe I'll havetwo beers a week,sometimes none(no more vodka), and then only when I realy am in the mood for one.

I have a saying, if the government didn't want us to drive drunk, they wouldn't require bars and clubs to have parking lots.

Richard Ware is just one guy, the real enemy is booze and bars and all those people making money from getting people drunk and putting them on the road with us. Nobody wakes up and plans to drive drunk, nobody goes to a bar and plans to drive drunk, nobody stays at home and plans to drive drunk, these are all choices these people make after they are drunk. We all know we make lousy choices when we drink, so the realenemy is the alcohol and those that profit from it.

 

Oh brother, how many times is that included in a story!?!


TK, I'm not sure what to say; that just plain sucks. I had someone close to me killed by a drunk-driver 12 years ago and it still pisses me off when I start dwelling on it. (And justice was definitely not served to thata-hole -- hence the bitterness). That might not really help much but over time the pain does soften. Fill out a victim-impact statement andattend the court proceedings. The more people who do this the better when it comes time for the judge to determine Ware's fate. God bless.

 

Thanks for all the support everyone. I guess i know deep down that there is no "solution" just needed to vent some more somewhere. I thought about attending the hearing, i guess it will depend if i think i can hold my tongue or not. I am 35 and have not had a drink since i was 16, so that is not an issue. I definately havent gone and done anything stupid, i have a wife that needs me, and i would like to think that i am a good person and can manage to keep my priorities lined up even in times like this. I just wish it didnt hurt so damn much. Again thanks again for all the support, it helps a lot knowing i have a place i can come and vent a little and get positive reassurance, it helps more than you know.

 

man, i'm sorry to read this. i lost someone very close to me in a car accident in August of 2004... my girlfriend (we had planned on getting married eventually). she lived out in the country. one day she decided to go into town with some friends. she never arrived...

her parents found her at the side of the road, about 2 miles from her house. car was against a tree. no witnesses. there were skid marks of 2 cars. hers, and somebody elses. she took out some mailboxes before she got to the tree. nobody has confessed to what happened.

the skid marks of the other car, going the opposite direction, basically went left of center and lost control as well. his car stayed on the road the whole time. the 2 cars never actually hit, but it scared her enough to veer off to the right where she must have froze up when she hit the mailboxes and let off the brake.

we still don't know what happened to the 2nd car.

at least the person who caused that accident got caught. me, i'd gladly give me life in exchange for the person who caused her accident to come to justice.

it'll get easier man. trust me. sometimes i get real upset about it... especially when i talk to her parents (since they were first on scene).

riding the bike helps a lot. i've also found that encouraging people to be safe out there (like i always tell people in here) also helps. when something like this happens, taking up a cause will really help you get thru it.

you're not alone man. know exactly what your going through...