JOKES
#5
RE: JOKES
A teacher was teaching math to her kids one day at school and she asked her kids this question: "3 birds were in a tree and a hunter shot 1 of them, how many birds were left?"
Little Johnny raised his hand and said "No birds were left."
The teacher said "No Johnny - if there were 3 birds and 1 was shot, 2 would be left."
Johnny replied "No, because the gun shot would have scared the other 2 off."
The teacher said, "the correct answer is 2 but I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK."
Johnny then said to the teacher: "3 ladies were sitting on a park bench each eating an ice cream cone. One was licking on hers, one was biting on hers and one was sucking on hers."
Johnny then asked the teacher: "Which lady was married?"
The teacher thought about it for a minute and then said "I don't really know which one was married but I would guess the one sucking on it was married."
To which Johnny replied: "No, the married one was the one with the wedding band but I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK."
Little Johnny raised his hand and said "No birds were left."
The teacher said "No Johnny - if there were 3 birds and 1 was shot, 2 would be left."
Johnny replied "No, because the gun shot would have scared the other 2 off."
The teacher said, "the correct answer is 2 but I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK."
Johnny then said to the teacher: "3 ladies were sitting on a park bench each eating an ice cream cone. One was licking on hers, one was biting on hers and one was sucking on hers."
Johnny then asked the teacher: "Which lady was married?"
The teacher thought about it for a minute and then said "I don't really know which one was married but I would guess the one sucking on it was married."
To which Johnny replied: "No, the married one was the one with the wedding band but I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK."
#9
RE: JOKES
so this guy gets on an airplane, goes to his seat, sits down. a very attractive woman sits down next to him, gets a book out and starts to read. the guy looks over and says "what are ya readin" she says "its a book on sexual statistics" the guy replies "hmm, anything interesting?" the woman says "it says here that the men with the longest average ***** size are native americans" hmm, the guy says. "anything else" he asks. she replies "it says here that the men with the largest ***** girth are typically polish" hmmmm he says again. the woman says "by the way, my name is Julie" the guy says "my name is TONTO KOWALSKI, nice to meet you julie!"