Sometimes I feel like there is a spider at the end ofmy doo doo which is climbing up to get inside my body, and I get desperate to be finished so I strain and usually hurt my neck somehow.

 

Talking about spider, has anyone ever heard of the story where some guy was taking a crap and some how a snake ended upinside the guys hole ? i don't remember the whole story but i remember it was on the news. It happen along time ago and i think it was some place in africa.

 

So what kinda "snake" was this. LOL

 

I got pooping down to a science after 25years... I can be in and out of the crapper in 3 minutes flat everytime

 

...and I thought snakes on a plane was something to be worried about...[&:]

 

Brown trouser snake, I have no idea i think it was a non lethal snake.

 

Yeah it depends on the mood i'm in, some fast, some slow, some short, and some long. One of my moods I sit on the toilet and I try to make the poop as long as I can. I've been able to clog the toilet a few times where it can't go down. Those are proud moments. ...lol

 

Yep, no need to read a magazine or newspaper or anything. It's not an egg, it doesn't need to be hatched. Sit down, take care of business, do your thing and get out before the stinch works it's way into your clothes and everyone knows where you just went. Kinda like smokers when they come back off their smoke break. Sometimes I find that a well timed growl works well to help things along. Other times, especially when their is more than one person visiting the public restroom, I belt out a verse of "Devils Camaro" as loud as I can. haha.

 

squat down right before it explodes...push the devil out...then relax...unless you got things to do, then skip the relax step

 

Get it done as fast as I can, I always have better **** to do than s... well you know. Wipe carefully tho, you dont want little paper rolls staying there, or do a half *** job.