Stop locking threads!! that should make you feel better

I find getting away from the norm. SOme times I just pull over in a parking lot, shut the phone off and listen to the radio with my eys closed for awhile and just relax. Its not a long term fix but it makes the day go by smoother.

 

Remember what Curly said in City Slickers: I crap bigger than you.

No wait, not that one...besides I think HC craps bigger than all of us.


Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is?
[holds up one finger]
Curly: This.
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don't mean ****.
Mitch: But, what is the "one thing?"
Curly: [smiles] That's what *you* have to find out.

 

Long bike ride to the gym, loud MP3 player, and some heavy weights. Lift until you puke and then ride home.

 

Maybe your inner-self is trying to tell your outer-self something important. If being apart makes you a jumble of emotion, frosted with anxiety...something fundamental is missing or incomplete.

I mean, of course, it is not pleasant to be separated, especially in the beginning. But how many eggs have you put in this basket? All of them? Because if so, your inner basket is empty, and trying to tell you about it. Use this time to take inventory of what you are getting, versus what you put in to the relationship, because honestly, peace and calm should be standard equipment, no matter how far apart you are.

And dude, you are only 23, I don't care how gray your hair is, you are going for rings a bit early in life. JMHO

 

I know how tough it can be in matters of love but in continuation of spirits post, if 1 or both of the people in the relationship are so dependent on one another that they fall apart without the other, the relationship becomes unbalanced and unhealthy. You must find a way to be independent and a whole person for the unity between you to reach a higher level of love. When one or the other becomes too dependent, the other suffers the extra burden. Use the time apart not dwelling on being apart but building strength so when you are back together you have more to offer her than the need for her love. It's a fine line between being too independent and aloof versus too needy (not saying you are) ... in summary, as difficult as it may be, just continue working to better yourself and all things will fall into place my good man.

 

Havoc, it sounds to me like you are putting your happiness and well being in the hands of another ..trust me, that has absolutley no where to go but a hiding to nowhere ... you must be calm and peaceful without her too, a healthy "missing her" is fine but it should not affect you like this ... are you two rock solid, are you worried about something?? ... when something ****les you like this, theres usually a reason, something else going on .. anyway I hope you feel better soon :-)

Jules


EDIT: maybe this can help ..maybe not, but there is more truth in it than many believe

https://cbrforum.com/m_692766/tm.htm

 

well i thank everyone for their advise . its truly helpful to read.

things lately for me have just kinda gotten to me. ive been out of work for nearly 2 months, my bike was stolen , and the main reason why ive been so lonely without my gf is the fact that we havent been able to talk for over a month now. like ive said before she works for the vietnamese government and they didnt take to kindly to the idea of her being with an american citizen. so they deleted her personal email and took her personal cell phone. she hasnt even been able to keep in touch with her family who is here.

ive been ok dealing with the long distance but thats because we were able to stay in touch. but lately ive just beenreally sad about it . i keep trying tohold on cause i believe in her and i believe in us .

well i start my new job on monday and hopefully my insurance will finish out my claim so i can get another bike before my birthday this month. and all i really want for my birthday is to hear from her again , just a little bit of hope from her and id be ok... i think just the feeling of having everything taken from me just really got to me

maybe i was too dramatic in my initial posting , oh well *just breathe*

and from mr. miyagi in karate kid 2
"when life gets out of focus, you must get back to basics"
*what?... meditation?*
"No, breathing. without breathing you have no life"

 

. i keep trying tohold on cause i believe in her and i believe in us .


This is so sweet :-) ..I hope everything works out for you and yes, keep breathing ..people underestimate that one ..get fresh air and take deep lungfuls whenever you can ..it truly works wonders for the body :-) ..there is a tendency with lots of computer use for people to shallow breathe these days, not good!!

Jules

 

Just keep your head up man. When I need to get a piece of mind, I just go for a hike with no cell or any communication devices. Find a peaceful spot and just chill. No outside influence, just me and no one less. Hope everything works out for you.