Awwrighttythen, here goes...I hate to keep pissing and moaning but I'm backed into a corner, and tired of living in fear, so I'm asking for help. Does anyone have any experience with re-negotiatiation of a divorce decree? Mine says "Neither parent will remove, cause to be removed, or permit removal of the child [our son] from the State of New Mexico...without written consent of other parent or resolution of dispute by participation in mediation"
My Ex-wife told me yesterday that she's planning to move to Virginia with her new husband. I can't just roll over and take itup the *** anymore! I will not allow her to take my boy away from me! I will fight tooth and nail. My boy is all I have.
I have an appointment this afternoon with a lawyer, and will be getting a mediator in the County of divorce. Is there any adviceabout my actions henceforth that anyone can give me? I have to do this right. I have to be able to tell my Son I did everything humanly possible to be there for him! I'm uncomfortable airing my dirty laundry on a public (Motorcycle) Forum, but I don't have any friends. If you don't want to discuss your experiences here, I totally understand. You could pm me. You can bust my *****, flame me, or make jokes, it's okay, I won't act offended. I just need to pull out all the stops on this one, and you effing gearheads have been very kind to all members in pain.
I'm entitled, by decree, to custody for half of every year, until He's eighteen. Since the divorce, six months ago, that has been weekends, holidays and the months of June & July. Could I negotiate for six months of custody, per year, here? Would I have to go halfway to Virginia to pick Him up? She owes me$100,000.00 U.S. as part of the settlement, payable over the next seven years with monthly pmts.She's bounced a couple of checks to me ($1,600.00 U.S. total) and that is a crime in New Mexico. Should I press charges to make her life as miserable as she's made mine? Can I sue her for the entire amount, payable now?Should I have the I.R.S. audit the business we ran together? I've got nothing to lose, except my son. I will use all of the resources at my disposal to fight this war. I'm sorry to be such a burden, and I look forward to the day I can contribute something about CBRs, thanks, in advance. Riding safely and respectfully, Grayson.

 

In my opinion I think you should try to get full custody of your son. You need to teach him how to pick up women and live life. That dude SHOULD NOT be allowed to do any of that because he is yours not his. Make it known to him that you want him but don't keep him away from his mom. If he wants to see his mom let it be. Get his input first also.

 

Get your lawyer on the payments and the moving. Both are violations of your divorce agreement. Don't tell your wife what you are doing, but pry for information about where in VA she is heading (address, etc.) in case she runs and you never hear from her again. Maybe it's time to give your boy a pre-paid phone just in case his mom runs. He should know that what she's doing is wrong and is a violation of the agreement in case she does decide to break the agreement. Hang in there. Keep your kid informed and close. Don't trust her. Get your lawyer on this ASAP.

 

Gray,
Here's the deal...you as a father have rights, too! Don't get me started on how onesided the courts and child support is when it comes to the father's rights[:@]. If it is in your divorce decree, she can't move without your conscent at least. Check with your lawyer, because I believe she is responsible to get thechild to you at her expense if she does move away. She can't deny you your time with the child. The lawyer is the best move you could make, and just trust that it will work out for you. When it gets really bad...try to remember Job. He lost everything a man could, kept his faith, and gained it all back and more. Hang tight, friend!

 

I agree with both of these guys. BUT you have a double edged sword here. Being a child of a nasty divorce when I was 6 I would like to give you some advice, take it or leave it.

This child needs BOTH his parents in his life, but that doesnt mean you should move to make that happen. If she wants to move let her know that SHE is abandoning her son. If the judge reverses the decree and lets her move away with your son, then you should probably start packing your bags too. I know you probably feel you are taking it from behind without the courtesy of a reach around here but there has to be a point when you ask yourself which is more important, your happiness or your son's. Its a bitch to swallow Im sure. Hopefully the judge will side with you, but from my past experience the judge usually sides with the mother.

Also one more thing. Be open with your son with what is happening (if hes a reasonable age). But NEVER, NEVER, NEVER trash talk his mother in front of him. My dad used to do this and it drove me crazy. Remember he loves you both and trash talking his mother may drive a wedge between you two. Also try to downplay the fact that you two are fighting over him. This will make him feel horrible inside to know he is the reason you guys are fighting. Just remember there is a child in the middle of this storm. I wish someone could have told my parents this 20 yrs ago.

Sorry to sound like Dr. Phil here. Good luck to you man!

 

Do what is best for your son. I personally think 6 months custody is alright as long as he can continue going to the same school. Different states make that impossible. Have you considered job prospects in VA? You might open new doors to yourself that you might not have had otherwise. Do your research before pulling out the big guns. How will VA help enforce your custody and payments? If you cause a lot of turmoil by fighting this instead of finding common ground, then you will be causing more harm to your son then good. Yes, it's good to have a his father in the picture...but stability, I think would be most important. I'm not saying move or not move. Just do what is best for him. Maybe, even ask your son what he would want.

 

If he's in his last years of High School, convince her to not move him. It would be horrible to have your last couple years with good high school friends thrown to **** because of some random decision to move. F-that! Make her start thinking about him some more and a little less about herself. She can always move wherever she wants when he turns 18 and is on his own. That's not that far away. She can wait.

 

I knew I could count on you all! Lawyer rescheduled until tomorrow morn. I'll know more, then. Lezlie, if you're reading this, you might want to reconsider taking me on in this war.

Nauree...Full Custody?! Awsome & orgasmic possibility! Pray for that!

sixhundredrr...I will get address tonight. Her husband has kids out there from his prior. She could run, but not hide and she knows it. I used to "hunt" people for the Park Service. Mantracking specialist. She lost my trust with her first affair, back in Millville. She admitted to it, too.

Voodoochyl...you've been so very kind to me, May the Blessings of God be upon you, May His Peace abide in you, and May His Love illuminate your spirit forever, Amen. I'm coming to Oregon when this all settles and give you and yours a big hug! The New Mexico courts are pretty fair, historically. Every action I've taken has been with the court in mind...how would they (actions) stand up, etc., I bought my cabin with extra bedroom and bathroom, just for my son. Taken ****ty jobs because my only demand is that I get weekends off, for my son. You and I have discussed how my number one priority is my son. My actions since (including) the divorce have been dictated by my concern for his healthy upbringing. Jobs' book is dog-eared! Go Fudgerammers!
Mr.Pink..I too, am a child of a nasty divorce. My Mother took off with me, and I was talking to my Dad about that crap last night. This has brought us closer together, and I feel nurtured by Dad for the first time in my life. My bags are packed, in my mind. I will follow my Son to the ends of the Earth! Ex knows this, and is trying to play off it. Not without a fight (WAR!), though. I never speak ill of his Mom around Him, and often find myself defending her to him, as he doesn't like her. Nobody does, and I figure, in time, he will make up his own mind about her. Then he will realize I was just being kind and he will love me all the more for it. My parents never had a kind word for each other, and it was a lesson learned for me. I love Dr. Phil and wish I could get on his show with my Ex, Dr. Phil would eat her alive!
Woo545...My Son makes it abundantly clear that I'm his favorite! He's only five, but growing up fast! He's a smart kid, so I'm just gonna play my cards close to the chest and let him come to his own conclusions about the truth of the matter. I'm a good man, and my actions always speak louder than my words. Truth is on my side andif court is not, then I guess coal-mining is in my near future. Good sailing in Virginia too, I hear. The house she has to sell is big, rustic, and expensive so the housing market (being unfavorable) is in my favor. It'd be easier for me to sell my cabin, frankly.

I gotta say thanks to you all for this attention. I'm not wanting to do anything idiotic, and I sure as heck don't wish to go to war with this woman and her family, but my life is making a choice for me. This kid is not going to grow up like I had to. God Bess you all! Pace, Gris.

"I take my stand on my uprightness, I shall not stir: in my heart I need not be ashamed of my days."_Job, 27:6

 

My mother spoke **** about my dad during their divorce. I knew my mom was a nasty, mean woman, but that just sealed the deal. Know what happened? I stopped talking to her. Just cut all lines of communication almost 2 years ago and now she's driving my sister down that same path. My dad did tell me things about what was happening with the divorce but only after I asked or gave him the OK to do so. I'm closer to my dad than ever. He's always there for me. Give your son time to make his own decisions and remember to keep your head and thoughts up. Good luck, buddy! Hang in there! You keep doing what you're doing and things will work out.

 

Raven you sound like you have your priorities in order. Keep us posted on how it works out.