Well I'll go ahead and apologize first off for the sob story. I just dont know what to do and Im hoping some of you older guys here at the forums can help.

There is a girl that I know. Her name is Kayla. Ive known her for about 4 years now and when I first met her in english class we became friends. From then on we were put in the same english class for some reason. She is a quiet girl in school. Well last year a friend of mine started talkin to her and soon were dating. That is when I realized. I didnt like that at all and I really cared about her a lot.The whole time they dated it killed me. I dodged them in the hallways. So that neither of them would stop me for a chat. Made up stupid excuses. Finally bout a quarter of the way into summer. I get a txt from her asking how I am. Come to find out in the convesation that her and my friend had called it quits while I wasat the beach. FINALLY! Its my time.......WRONG. I chase her all summer. Schools is gettin close and one night I tell her everything. HOw I hated it when she dated my friend. I dodged herbecause of it. And she was supprised. But tells me that she wont date me because she doesnt want something bad to happen and us break up and have our friendship be gone forever. She says that I am her best guy friend she has. She is a very mature and smart girl. She also doesnt want a relationship because of our senior year. She doesnt want to be tied down and not be able to go out and have fun. All in all she doesnt want a relationship.

I think Im in love with her. Its now halfway through this school year and I still think about her the same way I did last summer.

Tonight I ran into her and she was standing with another guy and her friend Ashley. It caught me off guard and Ive heard rumors that this guys likes her. He goes to school with me. He's a ****ing douche if Ive ever seen one. I acted all wrong and later she txt'd me and asked. If I was mad at her. We talked about how I still have feelings for her and she says "She doesnt like to hurt me, but she feels like everything she does hurts me and she cant do anything." Basically Im stuck I dont know what to do. I cant get her off my mind. I feel like a sack of **** for making her go to bed feeling upset.

Blahh Im sorry guys.

 

Forget it my friend, your pushing do do uphill here. I think she respects you & probably loves you as a friend. And she is just not attracted to you that way, you should respect her for that.
This all may change later, who knows, but for now, just back off & get on with your life, if you keep on, you may lose her as a friend as well & get the "Its not you, its me" routine. We all get kicked in the goolies from love, thats life I'm affraid, your young & I know you have probably heard this old chestnut like a zillion times, but one day you will met somebody else (& yeah, you will probably get kicked in the goolies again). You can't make someone feel for you that way unless they want to. Go clean your bike & go for a ride.

 

That's the best advice anyone could ever give.

 

Sooner or later you and her will hook up. Women are crazy, they come up with every reason in the book not to, then they get a wild hair and try it out. I've slept/dated with so many of the girls I was friends with in college, some take longer than others, but be patient. Remember, you can't hurry anything up, it is up to them. The good part, is if you were friends before, you'll stay friends after. The better part is some you will date for a long time. The thing you have to keep in mind is that women know when they are being pursued, don't give her the satisfaction and she will chase you.

Always show respect to her, show her that you want her happy. If it is with you, great, if she is with someone else, that is OK too. One day you'll get your chance.

NEVER BE DESPERATE!! NEVER BE CLINGY!! NEVER BE SAPPY!!

However, you have a problem in that if you have feelings for her and she doesn't have them for you, she may not want to 'try it out' because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings or you turn her off because you are too available romantically. Casuals friends are usually better to hook up with. If it is gonna happen with this girl, she is going to have to approach you, so you have to keep in contact and give her every opportunity to come to her senses.

Don't let the interest in this girl hurt your chances with someone else. Plus, once you parade a few in front of her she will get territorial with you and then get interested in you. When it rains it pours. Women are competitive, they want what another woman has. The hotter the girl you are out with, the more attractive you become. It is dumb, but so are women.

The key to getting her, it being around her and never making a move on her, not even a little comment about liking her.

 

i wouldn't worry about it...just live your life man
the best thing you can do is date some other girls, you'll either find someone you like better or she'll get jealous like you did

and i agree on the too available romantically comment
girls don't like a guy that's like that right off the bat
they want to feel like you're a hard *** and they changed you

 

She said she wasn't interested. If you can't deal with it, don't talk to her. There are many other fish in the sea. If she wants to be with a douche, let her. If she comes around, cool, but you shouldn't be exerting any more effort on her. Ride the bike, go to the gym, and work out your frustrations. Dwelling on it will not help.

 

thanks for the advice guys.


Really appreciate it. I dont know what to do though. She went to bed upset last night because of me. And that is killing me....

BLahh I hate this so much. I really ****ed myself over on this one.

 

Well bro let me just tell you this. It is going to mess you up but good if you stay on this chic. Been through a similar situation and when we finally started dating it was great....for a period of time and then it went to ****. You will almost hate her for putting you through the problems... senior year man. go out there and live it up no need to get that attached now. Best of luck bro.

 

Thanks CBR, I really do appreciate all of you guys. I just sent her a txt and told her we will talk tommorow that I dont feel like talkin about it today. Im just having the hardest time sorting all of this stuff in my head. I wish that I had my license to go for a ride. Its when Im at my calmest. When I ride. Something about it soothes and calms. (When your by yourself.)

Thanks again to all of you guys. Your a great bunch of bro's to have.

 

Just a peice of advice for your talk tomorow. Stay calm, and focused. Also remind yurself that ITS SENIOR YEAR, the posibillities of you being each others life partners are almost none. (Even tho I did marry my highschool sweetheart but that is like 1 in 1,000,000,000). Its time for both of you to have fun, date all the people that you want and make as many mistakes in your love life as you possibly can! But please, make those mistakes with some thoght behind them, the last thing you want is to start your adult life with an unwanted pregnancy or worst, a VD.

Having said that, Dont let your feelings for her ruin the reason you guys are friends in the first place. If your beeing in love with her makes it so unbearably painfull to be around her that you can't enjoy going to the movies with her, bowling, hanging out or anything else that you kids do now a days. Then both your fears of the friendship getting ruined will come true even without you guys hooking up. So learn to enjoy her company without trying to force it into something more. Who knows, mabe that way she will eventually relax enogh to consider hooking up with you after all.