R U ok?
Thread Starter
|
Super Moderator
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 4,647
Likes: 35
R U ok?
Ok Guys for once I'm going to be serious.
About 2 months ago, my ex business partner's 20 year old son committed suicide. I was considered the next 'most significant male' in his life yet he never confided in me the darkness he must have been facing. It was tough on all his family and friends. The Church overflowing and the eulogies touching, humerous and tragic.
Then this morning, I'm greeted with the news that a long-time ADV.com member Tugboat Bill - a man apparently happy and full of life - ended his life by his own hand. Severe Depression.
September 13th is R U Ok Day - see link Home. Ask your friends if they are ok.
We all have a common bond with the bike we choose to ride, and in the short time I've been a member of the forum, I got to know a few blokes who I now have enormous respect for.
Can I ask, no plead, that if you have problems, reach out and talk to someone. Heck I've got two ears which work most of the time. Happy to listen and support.
Lets take good care of one another.
Cheers, SB
About 2 months ago, my ex business partner's 20 year old son committed suicide. I was considered the next 'most significant male' in his life yet he never confided in me the darkness he must have been facing. It was tough on all his family and friends. The Church overflowing and the eulogies touching, humerous and tragic.
Then this morning, I'm greeted with the news that a long-time ADV.com member Tugboat Bill - a man apparently happy and full of life - ended his life by his own hand. Severe Depression.
September 13th is R U Ok Day - see link Home. Ask your friends if they are ok.
We all have a common bond with the bike we choose to ride, and in the short time I've been a member of the forum, I got to know a few blokes who I now have enormous respect for.
Can I ask, no plead, that if you have problems, reach out and talk to someone. Heck I've got two ears which work most of the time. Happy to listen and support.
Lets take good care of one another.
Cheers, SB
Administrator, MVN / ROTM NOV 2012
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 11,003
Likes: 3
From: Republic of Boon Island
Righteous & Noble post there Seb', not something that generally gets a whole
lot of discussion in the general population anywhere. Very difficult subject matter
to deal with from pretty much most all perspectives imo & then some.
lot of discussion in the general population anywhere. Very difficult subject matter
to deal with from pretty much most all perspectives imo & then some.
Guest
Posts: n/a
I know I am new to the site compared to most everyone else in here... But I am willing to listen also... I aint but 26, But I have been through alot, and if not I have had some friends and family that has... I am a great listener... and is willing to give up my ears, and thoughts to anyone that needs it for anything at all... and Seb... this is awesome for you to bring this up... Alot of people wont do it, or simply just dont want to think about it, so trys to ignore it.
Thread Starter
|
Super Moderator
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 4,647
Likes: 35
Too true Sprock, too true.
I've got an older mate in hospital at the moment with heart/lung problems - I took him there Friday night when Joy and I went to his place for dinner. He looked terrible, was short of breath and did not intend to get checked out.
Joy and I put him in the car, took him to hospital where it turned out he had 2 clots on his lungs from recent surgery.
I'm glad for him - and us - that we addressed the issue.
It's not sticky beaking or forcing your point of view on someone - it's caring enough to talk or do something.
Cheers, SB
Guest
Posts: n/a
Too true Sprock, too true.
I've got an older mate in hospital at the moment with heart/lung problems - I took him there Friday night when Joy and I went to his place for dinner. He looked terrible, was short of breath and did not intend to get checked out.
Joy and I put him in the car, took him to hospital where it turned out he had 2 clots on his lungs from recent surgery.
I'm glad for him - and us - that we addressed the issue.
It's not sticky beaking or forcing your point of view on someone - it's caring enough to talk or do something.
Cheers, SB
I've got an older mate in hospital at the moment with heart/lung problems - I took him there Friday night when Joy and I went to his place for dinner. He looked terrible, was short of breath and did not intend to get checked out.
Joy and I put him in the car, took him to hospital where it turned out he had 2 clots on his lungs from recent surgery.
I'm glad for him - and us - that we addressed the issue.
It's not sticky beaking or forcing your point of view on someone - it's caring enough to talk or do something.
Cheers, SB
Thread Starter
|
Super Moderator
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 4,647
Likes: 35
Yes sir it is... My grandma on my father side, was having problems, and she is old and stubborn... and was cursing my uncle, and my father out, saying she wasnt going to the hospital, they cant do anything to her, they never do. My kids, wife and I stayed inside while they went outside to smoke, cause they was upset. I talked to her, and within 5mins I had to go and get my dad and uncle to bring the car around to help load her up, and take her to the hospital, My father asked me what I said to her, I told him I didnt say anything just asked her why wont she go, and asked her one time to go, and she agreed. lol I cant remember the exact time, but several weeks later she came out, and was better then what she went in. Now she is in a retirement home, living it up getting nice woman and men to take care of her the way she needs to be. I always wonder if I never have went over there, and wouldnt have talked to her. Would she still be here today. So I think that her life in away is still going cause of me.
Well done Grizz, very well done indeed.
Cheers, SB
Senior Member and Montana roustabout :)
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 410
Likes: 0
From: Flathead Lake, Montana
I can somewhat relate to this.
Back in November of 2011, my wife was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer (stage 2). In February (on Valentines Day) she had very radical surgery called the Whipple Procedure. She almost didn't make it through the first night in the ICU unit. She spent about a week in the hospital recovering from that then came home. I went back to work after she was home for a couple days. For those of you who don't know, I live in northwest Montana and work in the oil fields of North Dakota (about 600 miles away) for 2 weeks at a time, then come home for a week off. Well, during my 1st week back at work, she had to go back into the hospital for severe swelling in her legs. She was in there for about 2 weeks and she was discharged to come home. She came home on a Friday night and Saturday morning she got up to go to the bathroom, slipped in the hallway and broke her ankle. Back to the hospital she went. She was in the hospital for about 2 weeks this time and then they transferred her to a skilled nursing facility (aka nursing home) because she had been in bed and off her feet so long that she couldn't walk any longer. Couple that with having to go for chemo 3 times a week and radiation daily for her cancer, we decided it would be best to keep in the nursing home at least until she was done with all that. They ended up keeping her there for 3 months. She came home a few weeks ago, still not being able to walk, and we have a hospital bed in our living room and I have to use a lift to get her in/out of bed and on/off the commode and in/out of her recliner. We do daily exercises to get the strength back in her legs and she will walk again.
She also came home with the worst depression I've ever seen. She cries almost constantly and has talked a few times about ending it all. Well, last week we got the call from her oncologist and he told us there were no signs of cancer in her abdomen or pelvic area! I thought that may help with the depression, and it did some. Her doctors now have her on 3 different depression meds, including Abilify, Wellbutrin and one other I can't think of at the moment.
Every morning when she wakes up, I tell her she is going to have a good day! And we talk about things too. I'm always here to listen and if she's feeling down in the dumps, try to tell me what's wrong....
I'm to the point now where I'm ready to quit my job there and find something here closer to home. I'll take a major cut in pay, but being home with my wife every night is more important than any job...
I guess the moral of the story is there is no real cure for depression. If you know somebody who is suffering from depression, talk to them and listen to them. If you think somebody is so down that they're possibly thinking suicide, do whatever it takes to get them help. They may hate you in the short term, but in the long run, they will thank you.
Sorry to bore you all with my story... I have no friends here where I live that I can talk to. All my friends are over in the oil patch working.
Back in November of 2011, my wife was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer (stage 2). In February (on Valentines Day) she had very radical surgery called the Whipple Procedure. She almost didn't make it through the first night in the ICU unit. She spent about a week in the hospital recovering from that then came home. I went back to work after she was home for a couple days. For those of you who don't know, I live in northwest Montana and work in the oil fields of North Dakota (about 600 miles away) for 2 weeks at a time, then come home for a week off. Well, during my 1st week back at work, she had to go back into the hospital for severe swelling in her legs. She was in there for about 2 weeks and she was discharged to come home. She came home on a Friday night and Saturday morning she got up to go to the bathroom, slipped in the hallway and broke her ankle. Back to the hospital she went. She was in the hospital for about 2 weeks this time and then they transferred her to a skilled nursing facility (aka nursing home) because she had been in bed and off her feet so long that she couldn't walk any longer. Couple that with having to go for chemo 3 times a week and radiation daily for her cancer, we decided it would be best to keep in the nursing home at least until she was done with all that. They ended up keeping her there for 3 months. She came home a few weeks ago, still not being able to walk, and we have a hospital bed in our living room and I have to use a lift to get her in/out of bed and on/off the commode and in/out of her recliner. We do daily exercises to get the strength back in her legs and she will walk again.
She also came home with the worst depression I've ever seen. She cries almost constantly and has talked a few times about ending it all. Well, last week we got the call from her oncologist and he told us there were no signs of cancer in her abdomen or pelvic area! I thought that may help with the depression, and it did some. Her doctors now have her on 3 different depression meds, including Abilify, Wellbutrin and one other I can't think of at the moment.
Every morning when she wakes up, I tell her she is going to have a good day! And we talk about things too. I'm always here to listen and if she's feeling down in the dumps, try to tell me what's wrong....
I'm to the point now where I'm ready to quit my job there and find something here closer to home. I'll take a major cut in pay, but being home with my wife every night is more important than any job...
I guess the moral of the story is there is no real cure for depression. If you know somebody who is suffering from depression, talk to them and listen to them. If you think somebody is so down that they're possibly thinking suicide, do whatever it takes to get them help. They may hate you in the short term, but in the long run, they will thank you.
Sorry to bore you all with my story... I have no friends here where I live that I can talk to. All my friends are over in the oil patch working.
Very Honorable Most Senior Member :)
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 769
Likes: 2
From: Central Montana, USA
Matt: that's a tough row to hoe. Thank the Lord I've never been in that situation. Prayers and good wishes sent your way, both for your wife and you. People sometimes forget the caretaker has a rough job. Hang in there.
Thread Starter
|
Super Moderator
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 4,647
Likes: 35
Hope it all works out well for you and your wife mate. It's tough seeing loved ones ill, and it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job of supporting your wife in very difficult times.
Hang in there.
Cheers, SB