Jokes
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Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 593
Likes: 3
From: Phoenix, AZ.
Jokes
Touching And Heartfelt Men's Stories 
I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone.
I said "mourning?"
He said, "No, just taking a ****".
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.
My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting out,
"Get this out of me? Give me the drugs."
She looked at me and said, "You did this to me you bastard!"
I casually replied, "If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick it up your *** but you said, " No, it'll be too painful."
I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating.
I asked why and she told me, "because I am trying to examine you."
I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani neighbor, Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
My girlfriend and I were making love last night when she looked up at me and said "Make love to me like in the movies". So I turned her over on all fours, stuck it in her ***, pulled out, flipped her back over and came all over her face and hair. Man was she upset, I guess we don't watch the same movies.
I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone.
I said "mourning?"
He said, "No, just taking a ****".
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.
My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting out,
"Get this out of me? Give me the drugs."
She looked at me and said, "You did this to me you bastard!"
I casually replied, "If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick it up your *** but you said, " No, it'll be too painful."
I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating.
I asked why and she told me, "because I am trying to examine you."
I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani neighbor, Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
My girlfriend and I were making love last night when she looked up at me and said "Make love to me like in the movies". So I turned her over on all fours, stuck it in her ***, pulled out, flipped her back over and came all over her face and hair. Man was she upset, I guess we don't watch the same movies.
Thread Starter
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Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 593
Likes: 3
From: Phoenix, AZ.
I'm glad you were amused enough to spray you coffee. Makes me feel good for helping start your day on a funny note. 
Administrator, MVN / ROTM NOV 2012
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 11,003
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From: Republic of Boon Island
LOL ........who's Kerri.........so eh Joel ..........***** ........cryin' ................
Might want to keep that that in mind next time ............he heh heh ...........
All my wife said was ..........oh no not another one of you ......again !!!!!.....(nothing for her for a gift this year !)
Awe chit they were good though .................put me in the mood for some happy refreshments
.........not that it takes much these days either ..~
Might want to keep that that in mind next time ............he heh heh ...........
All my wife said was ..........oh no not another one of you ......again !!!!!.....(nothing for her for a gift this year !)
Awe chit they were good though .................put me in the mood for some happy refreshments
.........not that it takes much these days either ..~
Thread Starter
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Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 593
Likes: 3
From: Phoenix, AZ.
Ooops ... may I extend my apologies to the Mrs. (Kerri). Tell her I'll behave for her.
But don't tell the rest of these guys. I don't want them to know I'm a respectful kind of guy.
... may I extend my apologies to the Mrs. (Kerri). Tell her I'll behave for her. But don't tell the rest of these guys. I don't want them to know I'm a respectful kind of guy.