I'm a technician for a cable company. When I call in, my acct identifies me as an employee. And yet the phone jockeys act like I'm a completely clueless caller.

Me: "Hi I'm having trouble with my services. I've got tiling on the channels in the upper frequencies. And the signal / noise ratio on the DOCSIS channels are fluctuating causing my CHSI to run slow"

(Ok, this is a flag. Average customer don't know what channels are on which frequencies, don't know how to check the SNR and don't use the technical terms "Docsis" / "CHSI" / "tiling")
Them: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. What you need to do is disconnect your cable box for 20 minutes"
Me: "Um... Are you serious?"
Them: "Yes sir. We need to clear the buffer on your box"
Me: "Oh... You are serious. That won't do anything but waste 20 minutes of my life"
Them: "Well I can't continue troubleshooting until you do"
Me: "Don't bother. Just send a technician"
Them: "I can't send a technician until you try this"
Me: "My acct should be flagged as an employee. I am a technician"
Them: "Then why are you calling?"
Me: "Because I don't have my 20' extention ladder, I'm restricted from doing work on my own line if I did and I work in a different area so I can't call maint directly"
Them: "Well did you try unplugging your box?"
Me:

I get why customers are ready to kill me the second I knock on the door. And for the record

• Unplugging your box for 1 second is enough to reset it
• Unplugging the box actually only forces it to reacquire the OOB channel and refresh its config from the office
• Video and Internet use mutually exclusive frequencies so trouble with both would indicate a signal issue at / to the dmark

 

At least it wasn't a computer or even worse someone with a heavy foreign accent that you cant understand!

 

Go easy on them. They aren't required to take any sort of aptitude tests. All they're required to do is read a script.

 

Actually part of the employment process for all employees is a basic high school mathematics test. According to a HR rep I knew, that test takes out 50%-60% of the applicants

There was major backlash to the overseas outsourcing. A lot of customers were complaining about the heavy accents and demanding to speak to 'Americans' on the calls. My guess is they simply demanded greater English skills from the outsource companies.

Funny story tho: I went to a customer's house a couple days after the 1st blizzard hit Philly. She was pissed cause her services went out 3-4 days before the blizzard was predicted to hit. She called in and told the guy on the phone he had to rush someone out before the blizzard. He was in Jamaica and didn't know what a blizzard was

When I got there, it was impossible to restore her service. There were 4' - 5' snowbanks between her house and the feeder

 

You should have unplugged the box, dumbazz.

 

Are you guys employees or independent contractors? Paid by the hour/month or by the job? Just wondering. DirecTV always sends an independent service company and they always try to run a scam, like trying to charge for services that I was already told would be free. It never fails.

 

Got tired of having the liability for the van. Got broken into twice when I had it while on call. Both times I had to go thru a useless drug test so they could be sure I wasn't a junkie faking the break-ins and selling what was stolen. Which was nothing since I carted all my major tools in the house at night and have cf ladder locks

I'm an employee. When they're dumb enough to send a contractor I either cancel the call when I open the door. Or call back in immediately after he leaves. One tried to tell me it was an inside wiring issue. I did the wiring in my apt myself, including the wall fishes

 

hahhahhahahha

"waste 20 minutes of my life"