I started this thread cuz i posted about it in the other one, but thought it needed it's own discussion.
Show of hands who was beaten or hit on as a child... .... ....
How many of you wish that wasn't the case?... .... ....
Now how many beat or hit on their own children and why. well why doesn't matter really i guess, cuz if he spilled the drink or cursed at someone u'de give him a good jab to the gut anyway right???

I think it's wrong, stupid, and non-productive to beat your children. I know what u're gonna say,"he's gota learn". and it's great ur tryin to teach him but you know there a better way that'll yield better results!!! If anyone here has ever used an alternatives to CHILD ABUSE like TIME-OUT, or anything like that post it. I t will give us ideas and ways to do things differently.

 

Dude, you really need to figure out what the difference is....Do you even have any children?

Was I spanked by my father yes, when I deserved it

was I beaten by my stepfather yes, which I never deserved....did it
ruin my life, make me think that all dicispline is beating, I will never touch my
child NO.........

if your child is running up and down the room at a nice restruant yelling
screaming, telling you no, having a fit, and your gonna say time out little tommy thats not
nice, you've already lost control a long time ago....... a quick swat to the but will grab his attention,
thats what its for. Its not to inflict pain, a little stinging yes. quick and immediate results that a 4 yr old will
understand....you cant reason very well with a 4yr old.

 

ok, so are we talking about actual beating of children? or is this one of those its wrong to spank your kids things?

 

I don't know about you city folks but back in Virginia our folks used to pull out the switch or even better, the snakeskin belt. I've grown up a stronger, more stable man(most of the time) because of 'learn by fire' method of growing up. I do admit though, when I was a child I did feel like I was being abused, but now that I think of it, I was just being a *****. My pops would say go ahead and touch that stove, I bet you won't do it again. Fact of the matter is, humans learn 2 ways, influentially and through experiment. Every action has either a positive outcome (getting laid) or a negative outcome (jacking off in the shower), and how do you learn the 2? By the first one you slept with and you woke up with crabs while you were staying in Rocky Point.

 

I was spanked as a kid - never beaten - two very different things.

At the time I learned the lesson - if you do that again you're going to get spanked. Don't do it. Fine I didn't do it. I still wouldn't do it. I learned the lesson - you do what you're supposed to or something bad happens.

Now? Not allowed to spank kids. I have a kid, and I don't spank them. As a parent now you have to be a lot more creative in your punishments, otherwise, they don't learn the lesson. The lesson that many kids are learning is that their parents can't do anything to them, so even if they do do something wrong it doesn't matter. As a result they learn to do what ever they want with no consequences.

The problem with alternate punishments is that kids need to have an immediate punishment, not a long lasting or hard punishment.

For example. You're about to head out the door and they do something wrong. You can't send them to their room. You could take away their TV time (but that's in the future, and they'll loose it now even if they are good at the mall, so they may as well be bad at the mall as well)... a quick spank and a don't you ever do that again, lesson learned move on.

So I think beatings are wrong, but not spanking. I don't dare spank because it is illegal, but I think that it is wrong to be illegal. On the flip side - I do see where the law is coming from - people using it as a free rein to beat their kids. Personally I feel there is a big enough difference to be obvious, but some people don't.

Meh

 

Dr. Phil rides a CBR

 

There seems to be a generational gap. I was spanked as a child...don't remember it happening very often, but just enough to catch my attention when I was really naughty. I spanked my children some, but used the "time out" method and counting to three more or less because I felt socially obligated to (does that make sense). The kids did get a swat from time to time, though. About the time it became popular to name your child Ashleigh or Brittany was when the wheels fell off, and it became a felony to spank your child in the grocery store. Spanking is fine, in my opinion, just not to be used on every occasion. It is a physical punishment that also acts as a deterrent for later, but if used for every little thing, then I believe it is useless as a punishment...it loses its impact (no pun intended). Remember this phrase,"This is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you"

 

I can only ever remember being smacked on the *** twice. once for playing with matches and once for saying the "c" word in front of Mum.
Instead I'd get grounded or punished by removing the verry important things i loved In my life @ the time- surf board, friends,tv that sort of thing. it damn worked! Id also get lots of extra jobs round the house.
I was speaking to the folks not too long ago about this topic- they said they were both belted as kids and the generation b4 that and b4 that and so on.They stated that they were taking a stand for changing the course of history on domestic violence with in out family tree! A single smack on the bum was only used in extreme situations where I was going to endanger my life or disrespect humanity!
As much as i hated them at the time Ive grown up to be thankfull of the tactics used and know that that way of controlling does have seriouse impact on young fragile minds. Thanks Dad and Mum- I love You both

 

Verry well written voodoo. Excellent phrase mate. Imagine how the world would be if all the dads and mums used that philosiphy!

 

I remember once, I was about 6, I had a gun fascination (Growing up in Virginia) and I was trained at an early age how to use a firearm properly, and what kind of damage one does when firing. I asked my grandparents for their keys. About 10 mins later I had found the key to the gun cabinet and I opened the drawer at the bottom of it.

Let's set up the mental image a bit... It was in December, and we were at my grandfolks house for Xmas. Everyone in my family tree was in the living room in the downstairs basement sitting, standing and chatting. Meanwhile I'm in the corner of the room with the keys and an open gun cabinet drawer with shells, bullets and hunting knives. The main reason why I was inside the gun cabinet was because of a hand held Space Invaders game (The Blue one with the red button and the x-axis only joystick, for those of you who remember...). So I'm in the cabinet rummaging around like any other 6 year old does.

Well guess what...? There was a .32 cal 2 shot 2 barrel Derringer in there. So I pull it out of the cabinet and it's in my hands as someone from my family yells ' PUT THAT (explicitive) GUN DOWN '. Long story short I still remember doing it, and I remembered not to ever do it again, and boy was my *** sore after that night.