I work for a wireless carrier as a Technician, I was at work one lonely Sunday when a older man comes in smelling of alcohol, and is looking like he just spend a few hours with his old friend the Captain. I know its my luck to get customers like this, because its gods way of letting me have fun at work. I call this man over, and this is what goes on Enjoy
ME: Hi welcome to *insert wireless carrier here* how can I help you today.
"joe": Some one stole my cell phone and I need to have it replaced.
Me: ok well lets look at your account.
"joe" I have a phone I want to activate.
Me: Ok that Sounds great.
* I'm trying to access the account but the account is past due and the phones were shut off due to non payment."
Me: ok "Joe" you need to pay Your bill so that I can activate the account, once you do that we can go ahead and set up your phone.
"Joe" *while trying to hold the counter before falling over* NOOOO I SAID I WANT IT DONE NOW. ARE YOU CRAZY I CAN"T PAY MY BILL IF I DONT HAVE A WORKING PHONE!!!
Me: ok well then Pay your bill and you can have a working phone.
"Joe": well its not my fault it was stolen, if my phone wasn't stolen i wouldn't be here and I wouldn't need to Pay my Bill.
Me: ok well since there isn't anything I can do about it, Lets see if we can Call customer service, and see if they have a way around this, maybe you can set up a payment plan and we can get your phone actiavted to day * mind you I didn't ask where it was stolen yet.
I call customer service and I start talking to the rep, he asked to be on speaker phone with the customer, I place the call on Speaker phone.
*at this point my whole tech and customers waiting for tech, can hear this man and the customer service rep.
Customer service: Ok Mr Joe, i've tried activating your aco****, and I see that you lost your phone, there are two issues here, you have to pay your bill, atleats $200, and you need to change your rate plan you are paying $10 for 1500 minutes, we hanen't carried that plan since 1993.
Joe: well i'm not changing my plan and i'm not paying my billl, I spent all my money last night.
Customer service: Well i'm sorry to hear this, Maybe if you go back to where you think you lost it you can find it.
Joe: No you do'nt understand I was banging a Prostitute and she slipped me a roofie and took my money and my phone.
* at this point I was holding back the laughter that was about to make me look like an idiot in front of everyone, All my co workers and their customers paused and looked at this guy, a little boy tugged on his moms jacket and asked what a "prostitie" was and then we all bursted out laughing. After the customer hung up the phone, still with no cell phone and no way to get his old one back he stated that he was going to her street corner to find out the truth. On his way out of the store the man fell flat on his face, just to add insult to injury. and to boot he was wearing a GET R DONE hat backwards.

 

Comcast Cable technician here and really can't relate to that at all. I mean it's not like I've gone to people's houses without electricity or heat in the middle of winter and yet had cable (they had an extension cord from their mom's window next door into their window).

Or have had to use the line from training I thought I'd never use: "Um, excuse me ma'am. Could you please put on something more than a towel?" (when she switched to the booty shorts and bra, I asked if she'd put the towel back on)

Or mention the umpteen times in the past 3 years I've gone to someone's house who's cable was 'out' and said "Um, you have to turn the tv on to watch it"

Gotta love dealing with customers. They renew my faith the human race will eventually be ruled by the roaches

 

Its just funny how many people don't know how to turn on a cellphone or make a call. We still have people waiting for a dial tone. Its fun to watch their face light up in shame. We make fun of these people everyday, I wish your cellphone came with a book that you could read to know how to use your phone. Ooo damn isn't that the instruction book? Oops my bad

 

haha. i did a short stint as a cell tech myself, and remember having exactly those sorts of experiences. dang if i can't remember the details of a single one of them, tho.

 

Oh this just happened last night! I thought it was a good story

 

Dude that was involved in stealing my f4i works for comcast. funny how that day my f4i was taken was the day i had comcast installed at my condo.

 

I had a porker do that to me once. she was wearing a freaking nightie, and watching **** the whole time I was installing her dish. She exceeded my personal maximum weight limit (and that of her attire), so I paid her no mind. Thought nothing about it, really. Then the UPS guy showed up and she got dressed. When he left, she got undressed. WTF. To top that off when I handed her the remote, she dropped it accidentally on purpose. Luckily, the force was with me and I was ready to look away while her death star moved into firing position. I gtfo'd before she reached primary ignition.

 

I'm glad I don't go to peoples homes, I'd say some messed up crap to them unless the man was hot! Then that's a totally different story! Ohhhh ahhhhhhh

 

I have a wonderful girlfriend who I'd not trade for any of the SI Swimsuit Edition models. She offered to pay for my next bike (deposited the cash in my bank today). This woman... was phenomenal. She required (honest to God) a return visit for a no BS reason (MDU needing a new drop from the basement and didn't have access). The guy I gave passed job to buys me lunch any day, anywhere, whenever I want. I remember her exact address 2 years later. Anyone that knows Philly will recognize the importance of South St. She calls that guy to this day when she needs batteries in her remote

Customer homes & customers are scary. I got a $249 tip for a 20 minute new connect simply because the condo was still under construction. I've had to call 911 3 times for police protection. I wasn't a witness (I swear I didn't see a thing ) to a home invasion 2 doors down from the house I was at while on the telephone strand.

And Saturday at 0739 I went into a customer's home to figure out why his internet wasn't working and his screensaver was full frontal nude teen men