Speed and beer
#1
07-25-2011 | 05:18 PM
Speed and beer
Rolling round the tight entry slip road onto the M2, the sun just having rolled past the horizon and the moon rising in my rear view I just couldn't resist a crazy right hand moment. Yep, a great **** on the hard shoulder. Ya shoulda seen the looks on the faces of the commuters........
Just kidding.
Back to the plot.
Not much on the road, bike running like a factory special so WTF... crank it up!
It's 12 miles between junctions. I covered the distance in 4.5 minutes. 2.6 MPM.
You can do the math to find out the average speed. I'm not saying but it was bloody exciting!
Anyway, here's the scary ****. When I got home I found that two of the 8 cans of beer in my top box had burst, quite violently. Like they'd been shot with a gun from the inside. No sharp objects in the box? Nope, they were well protected by other stuff, and bottles of wine, and other stuff.
Everything was wet in there. I had to get some willow branches from a nearby tree and beat the **** out of the damned bike for breaking my beer. Basil Faulty style. You bastard!!!!!!
Anyone got any ideas on this. It's bloody outrageous.
I put it down to low pressure in the box due to prolonged high speed but if I don't get an answer, and a ****ing refund soon I'm going to write to my MP about it. I demand action, some kind of oxygen tent over the motorway, a police escort.... anything but my beer exploding.
It could however have been small flies entering my luggage at light speed, photon stylee...... but we'll have to wait for Classic's take on that, he being the expert.....
Just kidding.
Back to the plot.
Not much on the road, bike running like a factory special so WTF... crank it up!
It's 12 miles between junctions. I covered the distance in 4.5 minutes. 2.6 MPM.
You can do the math to find out the average speed. I'm not saying but it was bloody exciting!
Anyway, here's the scary ****. When I got home I found that two of the 8 cans of beer in my top box had burst, quite violently. Like they'd been shot with a gun from the inside. No sharp objects in the box? Nope, they were well protected by other stuff, and bottles of wine, and other stuff.
Everything was wet in there. I had to get some willow branches from a nearby tree and beat the **** out of the damned bike for breaking my beer. Basil Faulty style. You bastard!!!!!!
Anyone got any ideas on this. It's bloody outrageous.
I put it down to low pressure in the box due to prolonged high speed but if I don't get an answer, and a ****ing refund soon I'm going to write to my MP about it. I demand action, some kind of oxygen tent over the motorway, a police escort.... anything but my beer exploding.
It could however have been small flies entering my luggage at light speed, photon stylee...... but we'll have to wait for Classic's take on that, he being the expert.....
#2
07-25-2011 | 05:23 PM
Administrator, MVN / ROTM NOV 2012
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 11,003
Likes: 3
From: Republic of Boon Island
#5
07-25-2011 | 08:56 PM
Guest
Posts: n/a
**** Henry , mate !! , I would call a full parliamentary inquiry on the whole messy issue !!!
This chit has to be caught in the bud , or was it actually the Bud caught in the box ?
hmmmm...
Personally I would have gone for different gearing and a smaller shield mate ... you obviously did not reach the official CBRF speed of light limit , or else the beers would have still been ok , because you and them would have gotten to your destination well before they actually exploded ....Mind you , you would have had to get the bastards out of your box rather fast when you arrived at the CBRF speed of light mate , or your self, back in time following you, would have caught up and trashed your load anyways ...
dam!!!
Perhaps the captured protons were unable to escape the box once entering it at your lower speed mate ..hmmmm...
I believe this theory needs to be tested thoroughly in a Mass Particle Accelerometer whilst you are consuming exactly the same amount of cold cans standing near by ...!!
Hang on!! ... what if you take your CBRF speed of light beast down into the Mass Particle Accelerometer circular tunnel and race the bloody protons around it, with a load of coldies in your box !! you could then see if they can explode the cans in a controlled enviorment !!!woohhooo....
think we are onto something here now !!!!!!!!!hmmmm...
If all else fails , I prolly would have sculled the bloody cans before I left to ride home and that would have definitely enabled me to go way way faster whilst talking to god in my helmet too !!!!
All's good , om good , my new pills have been sourced ...
...
This chit has to be caught in the bud , or was it actually the Bud caught in the box ?
hmmmm...Personally I would have gone for different gearing and a smaller shield mate ... you obviously did not reach the official CBRF speed of light limit , or else the beers would have still been ok , because you and them would have gotten to your destination well before they actually exploded ....Mind you , you would have had to get the bastards out of your box rather fast when you arrived at the CBRF speed of light mate , or your self, back in time following you, would have caught up and trashed your load anyways ...
dam!!!Perhaps the captured protons were unable to escape the box once entering it at your lower speed mate ..
hmmmm...I believe this theory needs to be tested thoroughly in a Mass Particle Accelerometer whilst you are consuming exactly the same amount of cold cans standing near by ...!!
Hang on!! ... what if you take your CBRF speed of light beast down into the Mass Particle Accelerometer circular tunnel and race the bloody protons around it, with a load of coldies in your box !! you could then see if they can explode the cans in a controlled enviorment !!!woohhooo....
think we are onto something here now !!!!!!!!!
hmmmm...If all else fails , I prolly would have sculled the bloody cans before I left to ride home and that would have definitely enabled me to go way way faster whilst talking to god in my helmet too !!!!
All's good , om good , my new pills have been sourced ...
#6
07-26-2011 | 02:15 AM
Jesus Steve-o, I knew you'd start nailing this catastrophe in an instant and you ain't let me down..... no sireee!
All I can say right now is that you're right, I didn't reach the CBRF speed of light and that was due to the drag of the top box in the wind. Just took the top end off at WOT. Probably the only thing that stopped me being at home to greet myself as I buried the front wheel into the driveway on deceleration.
I guess in future I could strap the beer and wine to my body like a suicide vest and ditch the box. I dunno....what if the cans still explode? I might spark a terrorist alert, return home to find armed police surrounding my fridge.
Tsk, the whole thing's really got me quite flustered.
I think you're right. A trip to the Hadron collider is in order to put this thing to bed once and for all.
Anyway, I got to thank all of you guys for your concern and sympathy, it's so touching.
I've cried, believe me.... real big tears.
All I can say right now is that you're right, I didn't reach the CBRF speed of light and that was due to the drag of the top box in the wind. Just took the top end off at WOT. Probably the only thing that stopped me being at home to greet myself as I buried the front wheel into the driveway on deceleration.
I guess in future I could strap the beer and wine to my body like a suicide vest and ditch the box. I dunno....what if the cans still explode? I might spark a terrorist alert, return home to find armed police surrounding my fridge.
Tsk, the whole thing's really got me quite flustered.
I think you're right. A trip to the Hadron collider is in order to put this thing to bed once and for all.
Anyway, I got to thank all of you guys for your concern and sympathy, it's so touching.
I've cried, believe me.... real big tears.
#7
07-26-2011 | 04:23 AM
Redcoat, & Maxwell's Silver Hammer, MVN and curmudgeon
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 11,608
Likes: 5
From: Mud hut, Zululand
Vibration took your beer, our 'Enry - no matter how well you protect it, the vibration in a top box would keep any woman happy ! 
but it isn't good for beer, or any fizzy drinks especially at speed like OMG - HOW FAST did you say ? 
I had a 2 litre coke do it once - gee what a MESS !!!
It's worse if your beer/coke etc is warm to start with.....................
BLOODY WASTE OF GOOD ALE imo
but it isn't good for beer, or any fizzy drinks especially at speed like OMG - HOW FAST did you say ? I had a 2 litre coke do it once - gee what a MESS !!!
It's worse if your beer/coke etc is warm to start with.....................
BLOODY WASTE OF GOOD ALE imo
#9
07-26-2011 | 05:00 AM
Senior Member
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,513
Likes: 1
From: Queensland, Australia
Jesus Steve-o, I knew you'd start nailing this catastrophe in an instant and you ain't let me down..... no sireee!
All I can say right now is that you're right, I didn't reach the CBRF speed of light and that was due to the drag of the top box in the wind. Just took the top end off at WOT. Probably the only thing that stopped me being at home to greet myself as I buried the front wheel into the driveway on deceleration.
I guess in future I could strap the beer and wine to my body like a suicide vest and ditch the box. I dunno....what if the cans still explode? I might spark a terrorist alert, return home to find armed police surrounding my fridge.
Tsk, the whole thing's really got me quite flustered.
I think you're right. A trip to the Hadron collider is in order to put this thing to bed once and for all.
Anyway, I got to thank all of you guys for your concern and sympathy, it's so touching.
I've cried, believe me.... real big tears.
All I can say right now is that you're right, I didn't reach the CBRF speed of light and that was due to the drag of the top box in the wind. Just took the top end off at WOT. Probably the only thing that stopped me being at home to greet myself as I buried the front wheel into the driveway on deceleration.
I guess in future I could strap the beer and wine to my body like a suicide vest and ditch the box. I dunno....what if the cans still explode? I might spark a terrorist alert, return home to find armed police surrounding my fridge.
Tsk, the whole thing's really got me quite flustered.
I think you're right. A trip to the Hadron collider is in order to put this thing to bed once and for all.
Anyway, I got to thank all of you guys for your concern and sympathy, it's so touching.
I've cried, believe me.... real big tears.
The moral really is that a person has to keep a sufficient float of beer in the fridge, just in case the trip home wrecks a couple!
