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My thoughts after glimpse of fresh air...

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Old 08-20-2012 | 02:35 PM
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Default My thoughts after glimpse of fresh air...

Do you remember Your first autumn?
Its the second week of august and allready some of the leaves have turned yellow and Nights have gone colder.
Today morning when I came to work with my bike, I felt for the first time a cutting cold wind sneaking in under my helmet when I got to a big road and gave some fierse gas.
It took me beathless for a second of a glimpse.It held me back and then I opened my eyes. Really looked around. The stabbing cold wind turned to a cool refreshment, it felt so good. I wanted more.
My spidometer came to allowed limit. Road was empty. The fog was different from usual. I could see the road few meters upon road but all tops of houses and forest were covered with white blanket. I made a picture beside road and continued to go work.

Parked my bike into parking lot and lighted my first sigarette of the day. I kept my eyes in the place where the tips of wood dissapeared into the sky. They melted.

I felt how my cheeks turned red from the cold. All the leaves are gonna fall down soon I thought. When did I play with pile of leaves lastly? There goes a pile of pictures thro my head in order of time, backwards like I have my laptop open there. Last picture was taken in London in one park with a lithuanian girl. aa Yes Lovley Heartmelting autumny London. Nice memories that brings me. But it disturbs me. There is a fact that we did that for fun.. but we did that just for some pictures. Just to memorise that moment. But when I sinserely with purely have enjoyed it?
Pictures flash more backwards. Then comes a sight thro small childs eyes looking in the sky and laughter in my ears and I feel the joy That i felt then. I smile.
Another clip runs next to it into my head. A park. Father throwing leaves in the sky and smileing to the small beeing. I smile again. They are both really happy. Pure joy for something so simple.
How did they do that? I want that what that child feels. I miss that!
Then I think how can I remember that? That beeing is me and I called later to my dad to ask how old was I and he said I was a bit over 1 year old.
One sunny autumn day with my dad thro small childs eyes. Thank you dad for that! I really love you! One of the best memories of you and me!
I finished the sigarette and went to work with gratest feeling in me!

Now yesterday morning has brought something up in my mind what I have forgotten in past few months.
My philosopy of life. And it suited the more to share this with you people who I have gotten very fond of.
No matter what we do we cant get those feelings back nor those moments.
Another good example how envious I was when I met this girl who had came to visit her dad here. She was 15 and we went for a swim in one good place I know, a month ago. Where people dont go but water is clear and 6 m deep so You can jump from a big rock into water. I have allways wanted to do that when I was a child and other children around me laughed when I jumped once cause it didnt came out right. Never again I did that! She was also scared of jumping but we got ourselves together and jumped together. I was more in panic when jumping.. I held my breath like it was my last one when she screaming in air mixed fear and joy and she took the last from it not like me. I gess it is part of growing up. Faceing your fears with more fear.
I think it is silly from people to say that I dont give crap what other people say about us. We do care inside.. It is just easier to let it pass us from strangers rather from people we love.
We do care what everybody thinks of us. Strangers sometimes say straight and truth more when loved ones. We just need to separate truth from egos.
Only thing we can do is surround ourselves with happy good people to get maximum out from life.
We all have bad days, also our loved ones and instead of blameing, sometimes a silent hug and feeling sorrow with that person in silence is the best support. It doesnt mean they are bad around us. We need to start seeing what they actually are instead of seeing them the way we want to see them.
We only feel them once in our lives.

Take as mutch as you can from every moment. Every sad feeling, every problem, even headace, depression, frusturation, pain, a smile, laugh, joy... there are millions of different things and they are named differently every second. Past is our history and future unknown. We cant make future so lets make from ourselves a one hell of a history book with the gift of beeing here and now.
For people we love and to ourselves. Key to the happiness begins from us and we have to surrond ourselves with happy people, to be who we are, not how others want to see us!
We have grown up and there arent many new thrilling things for us as there were when we were children. But we have non repeatable seconds in our hands to deside how its gonna be now not tomorrow. Support yourselves and your surrounding people with all of your hearts. We are a lot more worth inside than we think. Sincerety is the key and if someone gets you down you have to see the problem is not in you, it is in the other person. Ask who got grumpy first... The one who got upsed first has issues.. cause other was sincere. But remind yourself that in others you see yourself. We are mirrors of each other.
No moment repeats itself. They have a value that is priceless! Every next second is new even tough it is similar maybe to an early one. Witch makes our minds lost in the time.
Enjoy the worries, enjoy the laughs! It all gives us a notice that we live and that is only once in this body with these people and now.
Pursuade to hapiness begins in ourselves. We all want a better goverment and better comunity..
Well we are the community and we cant fix the world in a jiffy but we can start by beeing happy and honest and sincere to ourselves!
Respect Bikers! You know whats freedom and have had that gratest feeling most times, Now lets try to bring that to our daily lives aswell. Our freedom from riding, lets carry that inside all times and Live life as mutch as we can!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart that I have had a chance to ever meet so wonderful people and For you people to exist!

Sincerely thank you for taking time to read, and thank you for beeing you!
 
  #2  
Old 08-20-2012 | 05:39 PM
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Missynet........................

Thank you so much for posting that - it was a beautiful story and made me sit back and think and reflect.

Down here we are coming into Spring in 2 weeks - Winter nearly over - and the regrowth, no rebirth of a whole new season is upon us.

Your story made me smile and appreciate the good, simple enjoyment that is life.

Cheers, SB
 
  #3  
Old 08-21-2012 | 01:04 AM
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Thank You Sebastionbear!
I am glad you enjoyed it
Isnt life wonderful
 
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Old 08-21-2012 | 02:18 AM
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geeze Missy , that was deeper than I was prepared for on this site !!!
 
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Old 08-21-2012 | 02:39 AM
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Sorry ozzyAL Thats me I mean part of me Little happy life loving me
Had no intentions to make someones head ace Apologizes for that
 
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Old 08-21-2012 | 04:36 AM
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Wow Missynet ...... seems you have hit the heartstrings of the Australians!

Maybe there is some Finnish / Aussie, cerebral / esthetical connection that I was not aware of.

Thanks for your post.....
 
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Old 08-21-2012 | 04:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Missynet
Thank You Sebastionbear!
I am glad you enjoyed it
Isnt life wonderful
It certainly beats the alternative mate thats for sure........
 
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Old 08-21-2012 | 05:40 AM
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wow, nice writeup! Don't have time to read it thru right now so gotta post and continue at home!
 
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Old 08-21-2012 | 06:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Bordo
It certainly beats the alternative mate thats for sure........
What u mean under that lol?
 
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Old 08-21-2012 | 06:12 AM
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Thanks guys glad you share my thoughts.
My only point in writeing my thoughts down and share them here is that I know how important it is from time to time a reminder how wonderful is life and we need to be happy for the gift of living it...
Just to appreciate what we have and know that we are not alone
I surely forget every now and then, but have a need to tie a rope round my finger lmao
 



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