Ok, I thought it might be funny to bring up some of the crazy stuff your significant other does that you don't understand.

I'm not picking on women, really I'm not....
I mean... I personally think men are stupid and women are crazy.
Just the fact that I believe the above to be reality helps to prove my point!

Now let me prove the "crazy"....

My fiancee' has decided that we need these cool shower curtain "hooks" instead of the traditional "rings".
I like the rings. They are simple, functional, and they cost like $.39!
Every time I go to take a shower, I get the hooks all tangled up. And then when I try to straighten them, they fall down. She loves the stupid dam things, and says the rings look cheap!
WTF? They ARE cheap! That's what's cool about them. What's cooler than the price??? THEY WORK!!

So I'm done with my shower. Just got done with pissing around with the hooky things, and realize that I forgot a towel... SHlT!
Our old place had the towels in the bathroom (imagine that!!), but now she keeps the towels in the closet at the end of the hall. I forget to grab one every dam time (I'm stupid, remember...I'm a guy! )
So, I notice that she has a whole basket full of rolled up towels in the bathroom. Only problem is that THESE towels are some kind of "ornamental" towels that aren't really supposed to be used as "real" towels. She explained all this to me.

So what do I do? I pull one of these "decorative" towels out of the basket, shake the dust off, and use it! Then I rolled it back up and put it back in the basket. Good as new!
Since she's a detective and all, I got busted for using the goshdam "sacred" basket towel.

Women....

So, I'm sure some of you guys have similar stories. Women always have some sort of crazy shlt going on like shower curtain hooks and towel "booby traps".
Post 'em here! It's always funny to hear some of the crazy stuff women do...

If you're a women, feel free to comment on some of the stupid stuff your boyfriend/husband does, too.

 

Ggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
A towel is a towel is a towel - when I'm wet, I've been known to use any available piece of dry cloth........
If I had to fetch a towel from down the passage every time, I'd have water tracks all down the passage !
That system wouldn't happen in my house.

And shower hooks - what the hell - if it doesn't work, dump it and fit what does !!

My wife doesn't have those sorts of ideas.
She's a practical girl, not a frilly one.
Put up a ring for a towel for your towel - what till the wife forgets to get one from the closet. Especially in winter....he he.

Mine just punches the wall if she breaks an egg yolk.......

 

Not one of the "good towels"...What were you thinking man? My wife bought some "good towels" once and stored them in the bathroom under the basin. I used to use them to stir her up for a laugh. I'd time it when I heard her coming and be drying, what I'll only describe as my lower region, with one end of the towel in each hand, front and back, towel between my legs, using a sawing motion...Yes fellas it wasn't pretty to see! We've been together 20 years now so I think she's got used to the fact that I will never grow up. Especially to start with you've got to let them dick around with the house stuff, they can't help it and you'll only cause yourself grief. Just keep the shed how you like it and be thankfull for that!!

 

Shadow, we have hooks on the back of the door. Perfect, right?
Only problem is that the towels are always gone off it because she takes them!!

Classic, I've got an idea! Maybe I could weld on stainless or aluminum rings so she can't take them off. Better yet, if the hooks are long enough, I could wrap them the whole way around, then weld the ends closed! Voila! Rings!


Dave, ha ha!
You're right about letting them dick around with the house. And I do. I just hate this non-funcional stuff.

Another thing I was thinking about this morning (as I was looking for a screwdriver) is that she likes to hide shlt from me all the time. I had 2 screwdrivers sitting on the coffee table from last night when I was fixing a fishing reel, and this morning they've freakin' vanished into thin air!! I checked all the drawers and ended up getting a different one from the garage.
I think it's her way of punishing me for leaving stuff out. She simply hides it from me.
She swears she doesn't, but I know the truth!

 

I can not stand to go shopping with my wife she wonders aimlessly around the store looking at everything. If I walk into a store im there for a reason to get what i want and the heck out.People tended to **** me off with their stupidness.

 

Tell her your putting either her or the hooks ebay

 

Ha ha...maybe I'll try that..

white, I'm the same way. I hate shopping.
I only like "shopping" when I'm going out to pick up something I really want. No browsing, just buying the intended item.
I will occasionally go out to buy jeans, but otherwise she usually just comes home with clothes for me and I wear them (or not).

 

OK . so we got some DEEEEEP serious **** goin on here , Sir Trout!!!!

Now I'm reeeeel lucky 'cos my missus 'aint no ordinary woman .

I mean she don't like shopping!!!!

As far as I'm concerned , she's an honorary bloke in that department!!!!!

But don't get me wrong , this don't mean she's 'NORMAL' it just means she's harder to predict!!

Now you got to understand that the human race has developed faster than evolution can keep up . So men are still hunters and women are gatherers . Men think and communicate in terms of the hunt , short precise commands that leave no margin of error , it's kill or be killed .

Women on the other hand are gatherers , they like to compare the benefits of the fruit of one bush to another , that is why they will wander aimlessly around a shopping mall and buy nothing .

On the other hand a man see's a shopping trip like a military strike! 'Get in and out as quickly as possible , have a clear objective and above all do not get distracted!!'

Hell I've got my escape route planned before I even know what it is I want to buy!!! This is why multiple purchases confuse the hell out of me! It's like saying to a caveman 'I want , half a rabbit , a side of deer and the hind quarters of a wild boar!!!' WTF you get whatever is out there!!!

If you are to survive in the world of matrimony , you MUST bear this in mind at ALL times!!

RULE 1 . It is the duty of the woman to give the man a clear objective when on a shopping trip! E.G. If she is looking for 'pantyhose' , she MUST specify the colour and size so the MALE 'tactical unit' can isolate and identify said 'pantyhose' and report back to base that the objective has been isolated!!

This knowledge imparts a burden of duty upon you ' therefore you must ask the femail to assign you a task , in order to avoid conflict!

Secondly , language evolved parallel in both men and women . As before men evolved language in a hunt situation . Short commands , no frills.

Women spent all their time in the 'village' preparing food and stuff , lots of work for the hands , but not much for the mouth. So they had time to 'socialize', this meant they developed a thing called 'sympathy'.

If a woman has a 'problem', DO NOT, offer a solution!!! This is not what the woman wants!! Instead offer sympathy , phrases like 'Yes dear" Oooh I know" and 'that's awful', will be received with much greater respect than . 'Just tell the bitch to pi55 off', or 'Punch his fu*king lights out".

Rule 2 . DO NOT offer a solution!!!! Sympathy first , every time!!!! Only when the femail has first had SYMPATHY , CAN YOU OFFER A SOLUTION!!!!

Men solve problems , women sympathise with each other!!! Sympathise first then offer a solution.

Just remember that we are still 'Cave men/women" and you wont go wrong. Refer everything back to the hunter/gatherer situation and you will have a happy life , forget and you will not survive!!!