Okay, I need to adjust my chain before I can ride the bike, clean/lube it too, I know clean/lubing now thanks to you all, but the chain adjustment... I have absolutely no stand, so how do I prop that f--king swing arm up so I can adjust it???? I really wanna ride :'( please.

and my right fork is a little sketchy, I think it's cause when I loosened the triple clamps to bend my handlebars back straight I didn't loosen the axle bolt... if I loosen that you think it'll straighten my right fork back? It didn't seem bent before... also, my triple clamps slid down when I loosened the bolts and twisted the handlebars, any tips on getting them where they were?

 

2 bottle jacks under the swingarm
Floor jack and a 2x4 under the header + milk crates to stabilize
Tie-down straps with winches from the garage rafters

Basically anything to get the rear off the floor and stable. Or you can get a Harbor Freight stand for like $40 if there's one near you. Won't last for long term storage (it'll bend and possibly give). But for routine maintenance, they work fine. Loosen and torque the axles with the tire on the ground and preferably with someone holding the rear brake down. Don't want to torque against the drive / tranny itself